What'd I Miss?

So....it's been a few months. Things have changed, things have changed the same, and most of all, things have become two months older.

So here's a quick rundown on topics I have yet to ramble about in my absence.

IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLL....

Oh yeah, I can smell it. And to be perfectly honest, it smells like bullshit. Listen, I've absolutely LOVED The Rock for years, and I maintain that he's one of the most underrated guys in the world as a worker, but come on. The Rock's first message to the WWE "Universe," was to say that he wasn't here for the money (yeah, right), he wasn't here for to promote his next Disney flick, he was here for the fans. He went on to say that he will never (and the rock means NEVER) leave us again.

Bullshit.

Since that return promo, despite having two guys basically de-rail their own WrestleMania feud in order to cut promos on him, he hasn't showed up.

I mean, it's weeks before Wrestlemania, and the guy still can't be bothered to get his happy ass to the arena.

The Rock isn't doing this for the fans, he's doing this for The Rock, or maybe he's doing this for Vince, or for his friends in the WWE, or for John Cena, or maybe even for The Miz.

But don't get too excited.

The Rock will most likely be gone again a month or two after Mania, never to be seen again on WWE television.

But hey, enjoy him while he's here, I guess.

Sting returns to TNA, becomes World Champion.

FYI: I'm ignoring the Victory Road debacle for the sake of this rant.

What in the hell was TNA thinking? I like Sting, but strapping a guy you were ready to let walk away a month ago because a few hundred smarks *hoped* he was going to debut for a rival promotion? What sense does that make. I know there are people that will say they did this because there was a substantial buzz around Sting at the time, but the truth is, there wasn't.

There was no real buzz around him. There was a little buzz for a potential Sting vs. Undertaker match at WrestleMania, but as far as the Stinger himself goes, no one is all that excited about him.

The whole return and the way it was handled made TNA seem like such a second-rate wrestling company it's crazy.

Triple H vs. Taker!

Meh.

Seriously, meh. I can't think of a better word to describe this match-up. Triple H has a habit of being mediocre in Mania matches, and both guys are coming off of an injury.

Meh.

Victory Road 2011!

This was the opposite of a road to victory. Jeff Hardy is a piece of shit and he should never be allowed to wrestle again in a TNA ring as long as he lives. Both TNA and WWE should be ashamed that they let this druggie work for them after it's become very clear that he was on drugs with both companies.

And Sting, he's a true professional. I know I was hard on Sting earlier, but I still like the guy. He did his best in order to keep that mess from becoming even worse, and he looked just as angry as the fans who had to sit through that bullshit.

The state of TNA in General

God, I never thought I would say this, but TNA looks like a spitting image of late WCW. You know, the stupid angles, the wrong guys going over, the worked shoots, the references to wrestler's personal lives and backstage happenings that most fans don't even know about.

But even more than that, it's the general feel of the show that's a bit off. You can just feel the discontent coming off of the wrestlers. You can feel the confusion and the anger coming from backstage, you can feel that the guy don't believe in what they're doing out there, and as a result, they're not doing it as well as they should.

Snooki?

You've got to be kidding me. You know, people giving WWE a pass for allowing this skank to wrestle at Mania is unbelievable. People shat over TNA for bringing people from the Jersey Shore (even though they actually have a guy doing a "shore" inspired gimmick) and yet everyone's supposed to be fine with WWE giving Snooki a match at their biggest PPV of the year? Fuck that.

And last, but not least,

Michael Freakin' Cole.

Michael Cole is pure awesome in this role he's been given. This match between him and Lawler will most likely suck, but I'm sure Cole's heeling will make up for it. Say what you want about Cole's announcing, but if he were to move to a manager role after Mania, he'd be among the best heel mouthpieces in the business.

And he'll have to move to manager, because it would be damn near impossible to put him behind the announce desk after he gets a good ole fashioned ass kicking by Jerry Lawler, and maybe even Stone Cold.

And then we can all welcome back Jim Ross. It's a win-win-win, folks.

My Wrestling Bucket List pt. 1

A popular thing to do now-a-days is to make a "bucket list," ie. a list of things you want to do before you die. Since my most favoritest thing in the whole world is rasslin, I figure I'll give it a whirl in that context. Should be fun, eh?

1. Witness WrestleMania live

Should be self-explanatory. The pageantry, pomp, and circumstance (OHHH YEEEAAAHH) of the biggest show of the year alone is reason enough is to want to plop down hundreds to see this live, but aside form that, every WM since X7 has produced at least one, high quality classic for the masses.

2. Watch a show in The Arena in Philly

I need to do this. It's calling to me. Sure, it may be a mediocre small-time building in Philadelphia that just happens to have the most rich and decorated wrestling history this side of Madison Square Garden, but it's more than that. When I watched ECW, I loved it because of not just the wrestling, but because of how involved the fans were. The small feel of that arena was perfect for what they were doing. Plus, Philly fans could teach me some new swear words or how to throw batteries.

3. Wrestle

Yeah, it's simple. My childhood dream was always to be a wrestler, so I'm going to follow that dream with everything I've got. Some people say "I've done it" when they reach the top of their craft. For me, it would be a great accomplishment, and something that would bring me a ton of joy, to even be able to step into the ring and wrestle just one time.

4. Call a match

Kind of the same as number 3. I just want to be a part of the business in any capacity.

5. Sit in/ Participate in a TNA/WWE creative meeting.

I could set those guys straight.


not a bad first set. Hopefully i get some of these to come true. Anyone wanting to buy me a ticket to Wrestlemania or to Philly is welcome.

Or pay my way through rasslin school.

The (late) 2010 Splash Awards!

I think it's about high time I actually post something on this blog, don't you? Anyway, I have decided to hand out awards for the most deserving men, women, and moments in pro wrestling in 2010! The categories are as follows:

Best All-Around Wrestler
Best In-Ring Wrestler
Best on the Mic
Best Tag Team
Best Show
Best PPV
Best Match
Best Feud
Breakout Star
Rookie of the Year (in TNA and/or WWE)
Most Memorable Moment

And, of course, when there are bests, there has to be worsts!

Worst Show
Worst PPV
Worst All-Around Wrestler

So, Let's begin!

2010 Splash Award for Rookie of the Year

Daniel "Bryan Danielson" Bryan

Who else could it have possibly been? Bryan started the year as an NXT rookie, and ended it as the WWE US Champion, with a clean win (2, actually) over the current WWE Champ, The Miz. Sure, he DID get fired halfway through the year, but even then it was AFTER he helped destroy John Cena, and the entire Raw set. He came back because he was THAT over, and he's being pushed, not because Vince wants to, but because the FANS want it. This guy could change wrestling as we know in terms of how people view the business.

Runners Up: Alberto Del Rio, Wade Barrett

2010 Splash Award for Best Show

WWE NXT

I'm sure a lot of readers would disagree with this choice, but it makes complete sense to me. NXT changed the entire landscape of the WWE. I know, that it was hit and miss during the first season, mediocre at best in season two, and TERRIBLE OH GOD TERRIBLE in season three, but it gave us Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, and at the same time, it helped to further the career of some of the already WWE superstars, mainly, The Miz. NXT did a lot of things for the WWE, even if it wasn't always fun to watch.

Runner Up: WWE Smackdown

2010 Splash Award for Worst Show

TNA iMPACT!

Sorry, TNA. I really, really, REALLY tried to stick with you during this terrible year, but I just couldn't do it. I'm an unabashed TNA mark, and even I can't stomach this terrible show anymore.

Runners Up: WWE SuperStars, WWE Raw

2010 Splash Award for Breakout Star

The Miz

This is an award going to the guy who had the most upward mobility in 2010 that WASN'T a rookie, and when you think about it, no one even comes close the The Miz in that regard. But he's not just GETTING a push, he's EARNING a push thanks to his great promo skills and hard work inside the ropes. And I don't think he's done improving yet, folks.

Runners Up: Ken Anderson, Matt Morgan

2010 Splash Award for Worst PPV

TNA HardCORE Justice

There are no words to describe how awful this show really was. It was like a a blue-lit train wreck. Rob Van Dam and Sabu deserve credit for trying their damnedest to try to save the show, but even the really good tilt that they had could distract me from the shittiness of the rest of the show.

Runners Up: WWE Summerslam, TNA Genesis

2010 Splash Award for Best Feud

Beer Money Inc. vs. The Motor City Machine Guns

Every time these two awesome tag teams step into the ring with each other it's pure gold. These two teams created more buzz for TNA with their series of matches than Hogan, Bischoff, Flair, or any of their moronic storylines did all year. It's a true case of when wrestling is the only thing you need. These two teams told a better story in the ring than the morons backstage ever could.

Runners Up: Ric Flair vs. Jay Lethal, Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

2010 Splash Award for Worst Wrestler

John Cena

I know, Cena haters are stupid, blah, blah, blah. But John Cena has done more to singlehandedly drag down the quality of the WWE product than any other worker in the company. Are there guys with less talent? Sure. Lots of them, but they don't get 20 minutes of screen time every week to open up Raw, and the a main event match at the end.

Runners Up: Rob Terry, Abyss

2010 Splash Award for Most Memorable Moment

Shawn Michaels slaps the Undertaker before being tombstoned, WM 26

A lot of people would go Hart/HBK here, but to be honest, I didn't really find myself caring about that as much as I thought I would. This, however, is an image that will live with me forever. This was storytelling at it's best here, and I can't think of any better way for HBK to go out.

Runners Up: Brian Danielson returns to indies at Chikara "We Must Eat Michigan's Brain", Eric Bischoff rips up Impact script on 1/4 Impact

2010 Splash Award for Best PPV/Large Show

WWE Wrestlemania 26

This is the Grand-daddy of them all for a reason. Every year the expectations are huge, and this year (well, last year...) they lived up to them and them some. The show felt big, and it flowed well, excluding the one black spot, the Hart/McMahon match.

Runners Up: TNA No Surrender, WWE Money in the Bank

2010 Splash Award for Best Match

Streak vs. Career
Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
WWE Wrestlemania 26

This was a roller coaster ride of awesome from bell to bell, and even though these two had HUGE shoes to fill, they filled them with perhaps an even BETTER match than the one they had last year, and I thought that was impossible coming in. These are two guys who know how to tell a compelling story in the ring, and they took every fan in Phoenix on a journey in this tilt.

Runners Up: Styles vs. Angle, Impact, Tyler Black vs. Davey Richards Death before Dishonor VIII

2010 Splash Award for Best on the Mic

Mr. Anderson

The cool and cocky way Anderson delivers his promos, along with the catchphrases he spouts and the reaction he elicits, make him the best mic guy in pro wrestling today, and, in all likelihood, of all time. He's come so very far from the guy who just used to yell his name twice into the mic, now he's a genuine star.

Runners Up: The Miz, CM Punk

2010 Splash Award for Best In-Ring

Eddie Kingston

Shocker, I know. He's not exactly the technical artist that an award like this usually goes to, but I, for one, love a good brawler, and if you're talking about good brawlers, here's the best one on the indy scene right here. My knee-jerk reaction was to give this one to Daniel Bryan based on reputation alone, but when it comes down to it, Kingston has had really, REALLY good matches all throughout 2010, even with the faint cheers I heard of "you're not kofi" at the CHIKARA show in Taylor.

Runners Up: Daniel Bryan, AJ Styles

2010 Splash Award for Best Tag Team

The Motor City Machine Guns

While it's true that Beer Money, The Kings of Wrestling, and Generation Me/The Young Bucks all had good years, there was no doubt in my mind I was giving this one to Sabin and Shelley. Tag team wrestling is a dead artform in the WWE, and by showcasing the Guns, TNA has done something right for a change. Two insanely talented fliers who also know how to work a match with brawlers like Beer Money, and even less talented guys like The British Invasion. They make tag teams look good everywhere.

Runners Up: Beer Money, The Osirian Portal

drumrolllllllll


2010 Splash Award for Best All-Around Wrestler

AJ Styles

He started the year as TNA Champ, having an insane bout with Kurt Angle in the first show of the year, and it seems he never stopped being awesome all year. Even though he's been shit all over by Hogan and crew, he's managed to come out smelling like roses somehow. For example, they stick him in a go-nowhere feud with Tommy Dreamer, a guy with a totally different style, both in-ring and out, than him, and he still delivers great matches and makes that feud interesting. AJ Styles is a beacon of light in a promotion slowly creeping into darkness.

Runners Up: Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho