Well, I'm energized by a recent win (winning streak at one, baby!) by my Lions against the St. Louis Rams, so I figure, why not bore my reader(s?) with a COMPLETE RUNDOWN OF THE DETROIT LIONS ROSTER.
Yeah!
OFFENSE:
QB:
Mathew Stafford
Shaun Hill
Drew Stanton
This is the hardest part of the roster to get a hold on. Mainly because in his two seasons in Detroit, Stafford still hasn't played a full schedule of games. He showed some great flashes of brilliance last season, but he turned the ball over a lot, but, in his defense, you have to force the ball downfield sometimes when you're losing every game by 20, so I can forgive the turnovers. Honestly, in Week 1 of this season, he looked like he was on a leash, he threw pretty much nothing but check-downs before he separated his shoulder again.
Shaun Hill is another guy who is hard to figure out. Last week I was jumping up and down because he was making great plays and managing the offense like a champ, but the previous games, he handcuffed the offense by taking bad sacks, turning the ball over, and not realizing that Calvin Johnson still plays for the Lions.
And Stanton is a hometown hero who 99% of Detroit wishes they would actually give a chance to start while Stafford heals.
RB:
Jahvid Best
Kevin Smith
Maurice Morris
Aaron Brown
This is a good group here. I've always hated Kevin Smith, and groaned every week when the out-of-town TV announcers heralded him as a bright spot in the offense, but in terms of backing up Jahvid Best, he's going to be very effective. He can provide a change-of-pace that every team needs for a great running attack. Maurice Morris is a decent receiver out of the backfield, and he can block, too, and Aaron Brown is a good return guy and a big play threat but he won't see much playing time.
WR:
Calvin Johnson
Nate Burleson
Bryant Johnson
Derrick Williams
Stefon Logan
Calvin "Megatron" Johnson: What can I say? Calvin Johnson id the most physically gifted WR in the NFL. He's tall, strong, fast, and he can probably jump over me. The only problem is, we could never get him the ball because he was no-shit getting TRIPLE teamed most games last season.
Enter Nate Burleson. He got injured in Week one and sat on the sidelines until last week, then he had a good game and eventually, this one-two punch with him and Calvin is going to pay huge dividends if he can pull some coverage off of the other guy.
Bryant Johnson was the guy that was supposed to pull people off Calvin last season, and that really didn't work. His production has been terrible his whole time in Detroit and he's probably on the verge of getting traded or cut, I mean, he really hasn't done much at all here.
Derrick Williams is another disappointment. He came out of Penn State looking to be a good kick return guy and a playmaker reciever, but poor practices and a lack of being able to catch kickoffs have led to him sitting on the bench most of the time. I still think he's got the talent to be a good WR, but he needs to show something soon.
Stefon Logan has taken over kick-returns this season, and he's don a fine job, including a 105 yd TD last week. Not much on the side of production in the offense, though, but we should make an effort to get the ball to him.
TE:
Brandon Pettigrew
Tony Scheffler
Will Heller
You're looking at the most productive group of tight-ends in the NFL, and the stats back it up. When we traded Ernie Simms to Philly, I almost died, why would we trade a good LB for a tight-end? A mediocre one at that? but the Lions run 2 TE packages all the time, and with two guys who could start on most NFL teams, it's a great base for our young QB to throw to.
LT:
Jeff Backus
Corey Hillard
Jeff Backus has had something of a career resurgence this season, after being mediocre at best throughout most of his career in Detroit. Backus is the only link left from those awful, awful, terrible, no good Lions o-lines in the early-mid 2000s. I still think he should be moved to Guard, but he's playing alright now, so we'll see.
RT:
Gosder Cherilus
Jason Fox
Jamon Meredith
Gosder is another guy who's playing decent right now, and by decent, I mean, better than our RT's have played since I can recall, which isn't saying much. This o-line isn't fixed, because Gosder and Jeff Backus are playing beyond their means right now, but Gosder's still young, so maybe he's still developing.
Jason Fox is another young guy who could spot-start on the o-line and probably be decent. Again, my idea of decent on the o-line is very skewed considering the shit I've lived through.
LG:
Rob Sims
Unspectacular guard, but again, he's doing his job okay. The thing about this line, is that they're all pretty average. No one's great, but no one's terrible either. Rob Sims is a perfect example.
RG:
Stephen Peterman
Probably the best G/T the Lions have, but not by much. Another guy who lets a few guys by, but not a ton. He's a pretty good blocker.
C:
Dominic Raiola
Dylan Gandy
Raiola is my favorite guy on this o-line. He's athletic, he's able to get into the box and do some decent run-blocking, plus, he's been a vocal leader on this Lions team since the 0-16 season, calling on the guys to do better. Top 10 NFL center in my view.
OVERALL:
Offense if certainly our strength. We still have some issues on the line, but somehow, these guys are seemingly pulling together and playing good football in the trenches. We've got some very good, young pieces like Stafford, Best, Johnson, and Pettigrew, along with some good veterans like Scheffler, Burleson and even Backus and Raiola.
DEFENSE:
LE:
Cliff Avril
Willie Young
Cliff Avril is a very, very good LE, and we were all ready to have him as the best player on out d-line after last season, but our GM had other plans. He'll get lost under the big names of our defensive front, but he creates a fair bit of havoc himself, and e facilitates other guys making plays by dominating his side. He's one of those guys who doesn't really pile up sacks, because his closing speed isn't great, but he gets in the backfield a lot and rushes a lot of throws.
RE:
Kyle Vanden Bosch
Turk McBride
Lawrence Jackson
For those who don't get to see him play every week, the sheer awesomeness of Kyle Vanden Bosch is lost on them. This guy will bust through the line, hurry a throw, and then go tackle the guy who caught it, all the while bleeding from the forehead randomly like he always does. This guy has frickin PYTHONS on his arms, and I don't care how old he is, he's got a better motor than anyone I've ever seen.
DT:
Ndamukong Suh
Corey Williams
Sammie Hill
Andre Fluellen
DON'T YOU WISH YOUR D LINE WAS AWESOME LIKE MINE? I mean, good lord, Sammie Hill was our number one last year, and now he's our number three. Suh is awesome, he leads the NFL rookies in sack, has an interception, ripped Jake Delhomme's head off in the preseason, and has a Nike commercial where he's in his underwear.
Corey Williams is another guy who could be a number one most other places. He used to start for the Packers, got traded to a place where he didn't really fit the system, and now he's back in the same system he used to be in, and he's doing a FINE job. He's not as impressive as Suh, but he serves a different purpose, he's a great run stuffer, and if people start to forget about him, and start double or triple teaming Suh, he could destroy some QB's, too.
Like I said, Hill and Fluellen started for us last season, so they'll be competent back-ups to say the least.
OLB (1):
Zack Follett
Landon Johnson
Now we get into the issues for this defense. Zack Follett is a guy any team in the league would love to have...as a third-stringer. He's young, so maybe he'll get better, but he can't really cover, he can't really tackle, he doesn't really come up to the line and make plays, he really disappears in almost every game, that is, unless he's getting burned by a tight-end.
MLB:
Deandre Levy
Isiah Ekejiuba
Spencer Havner
Levy's a decent LB, but not much more, and what's worse, he's pretty injury prone. The other guys behind him are pretty bad. Good thing Kyle Vanden Bosch makes as many plays downfield as he does, because we need the help.
But hey, at least they're not Larry Foote.
OLB (2)
Julian Peterson
Ashlee Palmer
Julian Peterson is an above-average LB at this point in his career. He used to be an elite pass rusher in the league, but his age has slowed him down a bit, and we don't really use him to blitz anyway. We use him to stop the run and make tackles, which isn't his strength, but he's better at it than our other two starting linebackers.
CB:
Chris Houston
Alphonso Smith
Johnathan Wade
Amari Spievey
Nathan Vasher
Chris Houston is a good corner, and he could be a great one when he hits his prime. He lacks a couple of skills at this point but overall he's a huge asset to this notoriously bad secondary. Alphonso Smith was promoted to starter alongside Houston last week, and he had a very good game. Every time he's seen playing time this season, he's looked good, at least, a lot better than whatever Wade was doing in that starting spot previously, so that's a bright spot. We actually have some depth here, with Wade, Spievey, and Vasher being able to start for us if need be. Spievey, a rookie, made an impact in his limited time in Sunday's game, hopping over a few players and recovering an onside kick that opened up the game. Also, Nathan Vasher is Nathan Vasher. He may have limited cover skills, but he's magic with the ball in his hands.
SS:
CC Brown
Dante Wesley
Another weak spot. CC Brown is no good as a starter in the NFL, but I guess we're stuck with him for this year. His shoddy tackling and lack of ball skills are cause for concern.
FS:
Louis Delmas
John Wendling
Louis Delmas is pure, concentrated awesome. I could do without his dredlocks and his "grill" but his playing skills more than make up for whatever he lacks in good taste. He's been hampered slightly by injuries this season, but most who see him say he reminds them of Ed Reed. High
Praise indeed. Not a whole lot of cover skills, but he's a ball hawk, and he can knock someone's head off with some of his hits.
OVERALL:
Yeah, we still need help. We overhauled the line last offseason, so hopefully, we can focus on other areas now. I don't think we need another giant offseason for our defense, but we need at least a few more pieces, good ones, in order to have a defense that's worthy of our offense. Suh's going to keep getting better, and he's going to be a dominant guy in the middle, which is really going to take this defense to a new level.
SPECIAL TEAMS:
K:
Jason Hanson
This guy is like 300 years old, and he's still automatic from 40 or less. Anything more than 50 is an adventure, though.
P:
Nick Harris
Probably an above average punter. He's been consistent over the years, which is the most important thing.
KR/PR:
Stefon Logan
Aaron Brown
Nate Burleson
Never seen Burleson return a kick, but he's on the depth chart, so whatever. Logan, like I've stated, has been very good, and Aaron Brown is a good second option. I doubt Logan will return a lot of kicks for points, but he's been good at getting us good field position, and that 105 yd return last week was nuts.
OVERALL:
Probably a below average ST unit. Most good teams have either a great kicker, or a great punter, we have two average ones, and above average return guys, but what I didn't delve into, is the fact that we've been below average at kickoff coverage. But at the same time, Suh has already blocked a field goal. It's a wash.
So there ya go. I predicted a 6-10 season fot eh Lions, but with our QB out for at least a week more, it looks like we'd be lucky to get to that mark. Plus, our schedule absolutely sucks this season. We have a great base to build on, and while I realize it's taking a longer time than most teams, in a season or two, this could be an elite NFL team, and no, I'm not on drugs.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Piggy-Back Blog: Drugs in TNA and a failure to give a damn
According to The Wrestling Blog, TNA had a round of drug testing recently, and to the shock of no one who's paying attention, there were some failures. So who can we expect to see taking a 90 day vacation?
...no one.
That's right folks, the TNA policy is that of 'don't ask, don't tell, don't fucking care.'
Jeff Hardy, and Kurt Angle, undeniable two of the biggest stars in the history of the business, and undeniably two guys with a history of substance abuse issues, have deteriorated in TNA. Now, Angle has been able to hide it somewhat, still proving the doubters wrong with great matches and great promos, but there is no hiding what Jeff Hardy has gotten into while in Orlando, and it's not religion.
But if I can see it, and you can see it, can't the people in TNA see it?
I think the answer is, they can. I think everyone in TNA knows what's going on behind closed doors, and they aren't doing anything to stop it.
You think Dixie Carter actually cares about the people who wrestle for her? She's shown them nothing but disdain since day one, hell, there are reports that she paid some ECW guys around $200 for Hardcore Justice. That's VFW Hall money. That's bullshit. She knew they HAD to take that paycheck, so she acted like she was doing them a favor by dragging them to Orlando for her shitty PPV.
So if you're not going to do anything about it, why drug test at all? It's because Dixie Carter loves to go to Congress and tell them that she has a 'comprehensive' Drug Testing Plan. Yeah, that's actually true. They do test for drugs, but that's like me stabbing someone and than claiming, 'I have a no shooting policy' it's not any better.
So, next time you're backstage, Jeremy Borash, and Kurt Angle grimaces in pain, and pops a bone back into place, and then goes to wrestle, how about you tell him to settle down, instead of tweeting about how awesome it is.
Next time you're in the back and Jeff Hardy can barely keep his eyes open, let alone walk, and then he goes to the ring to perform potentially dangerous moves on other people and himself, how about doing something, anything to stop it.
Even if it doesn't work, you can say you tried. Even if nothing changes the issue will be in the open.
How many wrestlers have to die, how many guys have to destroy themselves in order for people to care?
It's become part of the culture, part that no one wants to talk about, but it's there, and I can't pretend it's not any longer. I don't know what to do, but I want to stop this whole culture from continuing. I love pro wrestling, and I don't think I can live with the idea that the thing I love, and the thing that I watch any chance I get, is producing deaths by the hundreds every year because no one is speaking up.
Where are the guys like Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, etc. to act as an example and to tell these guys not to do what they did?
Well, they're still on drugs, too.
Any comments or ideas on what I/We could do in order to help stop this are appreciated. These guys give their health and bodies to us, for our entertainment, and we have to do something before there are none left.
...no one.
That's right folks, the TNA policy is that of 'don't ask, don't tell, don't fucking care.'
Jeff Hardy, and Kurt Angle, undeniable two of the biggest stars in the history of the business, and undeniably two guys with a history of substance abuse issues, have deteriorated in TNA. Now, Angle has been able to hide it somewhat, still proving the doubters wrong with great matches and great promos, but there is no hiding what Jeff Hardy has gotten into while in Orlando, and it's not religion.
But if I can see it, and you can see it, can't the people in TNA see it?
I think the answer is, they can. I think everyone in TNA knows what's going on behind closed doors, and they aren't doing anything to stop it.
You think Dixie Carter actually cares about the people who wrestle for her? She's shown them nothing but disdain since day one, hell, there are reports that she paid some ECW guys around $200 for Hardcore Justice. That's VFW Hall money. That's bullshit. She knew they HAD to take that paycheck, so she acted like she was doing them a favor by dragging them to Orlando for her shitty PPV.
So if you're not going to do anything about it, why drug test at all? It's because Dixie Carter loves to go to Congress and tell them that she has a 'comprehensive' Drug Testing Plan. Yeah, that's actually true. They do test for drugs, but that's like me stabbing someone and than claiming, 'I have a no shooting policy' it's not any better.
So, next time you're backstage, Jeremy Borash, and Kurt Angle grimaces in pain, and pops a bone back into place, and then goes to wrestle, how about you tell him to settle down, instead of tweeting about how awesome it is.
Next time you're in the back and Jeff Hardy can barely keep his eyes open, let alone walk, and then he goes to the ring to perform potentially dangerous moves on other people and himself, how about doing something, anything to stop it.
Even if it doesn't work, you can say you tried. Even if nothing changes the issue will be in the open.
How many wrestlers have to die, how many guys have to destroy themselves in order for people to care?
It's become part of the culture, part that no one wants to talk about, but it's there, and I can't pretend it's not any longer. I don't know what to do, but I want to stop this whole culture from continuing. I love pro wrestling, and I don't think I can live with the idea that the thing I love, and the thing that I watch any chance I get, is producing deaths by the hundreds every year because no one is speaking up.
Where are the guys like Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, etc. to act as an example and to tell these guys not to do what they did?
Well, they're still on drugs, too.
Any comments or ideas on what I/We could do in order to help stop this are appreciated. These guys give their health and bodies to us, for our entertainment, and we have to do something before there are none left.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
10 Reasons You Should Love: AJ Styles
The Stats:
5 ft, 11 in
215 lbs
Age 32
Current TNA Television Champion
TNA World Heavyweight Championship (1 Time)
NWA World Heavyweight Championship (3 Times)
TNA World Tag Team Championship (1 Time w/ Tomko)
NWA World Tag Team Championship (1 Time w/ Jerry Lynn, 1 Time w/ Abyss, 2 Times w/ Christopher Daniels)
TNA Legends/Global/TV Championship (2 Times)
TNA X Division Championship (6 Times)
TNA Triple Crown Champion (4 Times, First)
TNA Grand Slam Champion (2 Times, First, Only)
IWA-MS World Heavyweight Championship (1 Time)
NWA Wildside Heavyweight Championship (1 Time)
ROH Pure Championship (1 Time)
ROH Tag Team Championship (1 Time w/ Amazing Red)
"Mr. TNA" Award Winner (2003-2005)
TNA "Match of the Year Award Winner (2006 w/ Christopher Daniels, Homicide, Hernandez)
TNA "Match of the Year" Award Winner (2009 w/Sting)
TNA "Tag Team of the Year" (2006 w/ Christopher Daniels)
Wrestling Observer "Best Wrestling Maneuver" (2003, Styles Clash)
Wrestling Observer "Best Flying Wrestler" (2005)
Wrestling Observer 5 Star Match (2005 w/ Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels)
PWI Number 1 in PWI 500 (2010)
PWI Tag Team of the Year (2006 w/ Christopher Daniels)
AJ Styles, despite his many accomplishments, and fan love, has been vastly underrated by fans of wrestling that aren't fans of TNA. Why? I believe that some people that don't know what they're talking about, have pigeon-holed Styles as a "high-flier" or as a guy who can't cut a promo. Hell, people might just hate him because he works for TNA, I don't know, but I have to make one, unequivocal statement before I begin, AJ Styles is the best all around wrestler in the world today.
Now, onto the list.
5 ft, 11 in
215 lbs
Age 32
Current TNA Television Champion
TNA World Heavyweight Championship (1 Time)
NWA World Heavyweight Championship (3 Times)
TNA World Tag Team Championship (1 Time w/ Tomko)
NWA World Tag Team Championship (1 Time w/ Jerry Lynn, 1 Time w/ Abyss, 2 Times w/ Christopher Daniels)
TNA Legends/Global/TV Championship (2 Times)
TNA X Division Championship (6 Times)
TNA Triple Crown Champion (4 Times, First)
TNA Grand Slam Champion (2 Times, First, Only)
IWA-MS World Heavyweight Championship (1 Time)
NWA Wildside Heavyweight Championship (1 Time)
ROH Pure Championship (1 Time)
ROH Tag Team Championship (1 Time w/ Amazing Red)
"Mr. TNA" Award Winner (2003-2005)
TNA "Match of the Year Award Winner (2006 w/ Christopher Daniels, Homicide, Hernandez)
TNA "Match of the Year" Award Winner (2009 w/Sting)
TNA "Tag Team of the Year" (2006 w/ Christopher Daniels)
Wrestling Observer "Best Wrestling Maneuver" (2003, Styles Clash)
Wrestling Observer "Best Flying Wrestler" (2005)
Wrestling Observer 5 Star Match (2005 w/ Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels)
PWI Number 1 in PWI 500 (2010)
PWI Tag Team of the Year (2006 w/ Christopher Daniels)
AJ Styles, despite his many accomplishments, and fan love, has been vastly underrated by fans of wrestling that aren't fans of TNA. Why? I believe that some people that don't know what they're talking about, have pigeon-holed Styles as a "high-flier" or as a guy who can't cut a promo. Hell, people might just hate him because he works for TNA, I don't know, but I have to make one, unequivocal statement before I begin, AJ Styles is the best all around wrestler in the world today.
Now, onto the list.
1) AJ Styles isn't just a high-flier.
Now, granted, he may be best known throughout the world for his high-flying antics, and it is true that he can fly around the ring better than anyone else on the planet right now, but he's developed his game into much more than that. What other man could have sick brawls with guys like Abyss, and Rhino, and great technical, story-driven matches with Kurt Angle, and astonishing Ultimate X Matches with Chris Sabin? Any situation where you need a guy who can have a great match, no matter who the opponent is, you can easily plug AJ Styles in and watch him go.
2) He's a top 15 interview right now.
That's right, if you rank the best promo guys in the world at this moment, you'd have to put AJ in the top 15 on that list. I know this has been a chink in his armor in the past, but with the help of guys like Ric Flair and Mick Foley, and even Kurt Angle, AJ Styles has blossomed into a damn good promo man. Listen to his rants against Tommy Dreamer for example. His cocky, narcissistic, promos about how TNA is "the House that AJ Styles built." Are great, almost too much so. He's convincing the fans in the Impact Zone that he should be able to do anything he wants, and that Tommy Dreamer, one of the most beloved wrestler of this era, is wrong for trying to stop him.
3) He makes wrestling look good.
When people watch AJ Styles, they aren't seeing the typical cartoonish caricature of pro wrestling, they're seeing a guy with more athleticism in his little finger than many professional athletes today. That's a good thing. With him throwing crisp dropkicks and perfect 450's, he lends credibility to everyone he wrestles.
4) He's never injured
Since joining TNA in 2002, AJ Styles has never missed a PPV due to injury. That's eight full cycles of the earth without getting hurt. You can compare him to Chris Jericho in that respect, as both are so perfect in the ring in terms of safety, that they never get hurt. Although you can argue, and I would agree, that there has to be a certain degree of luck in order to accomplish that, you can't deny that conditioning has to play a factor as well.
5) He has the Ric Flair Seal of Approval
Ric Flair has said on more the one occasion, that he thinks Kurt Angle and AJ Styles are the two best wrestlers in the world today. He's mentored Styles, and worked harder that I've ever seen any 'legend' work to get someone else over, not that Styles needs it. He's worked with Styles on his pacing, his promo work, his gimmick, and probably 1000 other things in order to make him even better, and it seems to be working. I've said in the past that I would put Flair on someone else that needs the rub more than AJ, but that fact that Flair feels this strongly about AJ Styles, means a lot in my mind.
6) The Inbred-er Impact Zone loves him
Say what you want about the Impact Zone, but considering their favorite wrestler seem to be Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson, and Desmond Wolfe, they can't be all bad. They've loved AJ Styles since day one in Orlando, and before that, the fans in Nashville loved him too.
7) He elevates everyone he wrestles
Think about it, who made Christopher Daniels a star? It sure as hell wasn't Christopher Daniels. It was AJ Styles. Styles and Daniels had great matches together, and no doubt Daniels more than held his own in those matches, but he never got over until he was paired with Styles in a tag team, and after they split, he never got over again, until he left for a year and returned to...team with Styles. Think about Samoa Joe, a guy who came into TNA and got popular right away, during his first big feud, which just happened to be against... you guessed it, AJ Styles. Styles enhanced the TNA careers of Christian and Kurt Angle by simply playing second fiddle to them and backing them up. The guy can make anything he's in better, and the fans react to everything he does, and with good reason.
8) He's the perfect mix of flippy and realism
As in, he can wow you with his awesome top rope moves and flips around the ring, but he can also have a match without doing any of those things, and make it great. That's something that a more one-dimensional guy like Evan Bourne is missing. Styles has the size to look credible, even when he's doing some moves that aren't.
9) He's got the look
AJ Styles LOOKS like a main eventer, and that's an achievement considering the fact that's he's at least a few inches shorter than every other main eventer in TNA. He's a good looking, chiseled guy who can tell a story with just his facial expressions alone. He's got natural charisma, like Jeff Hardy. What I mean by that, is that although Jeff Hardy can't cut a promo to save his life, he doesn't need to, because he connects with the fans just by coming to the ring. AJ has that same quality, although he actually can cut a promo, too.
10) He's Phenomenal
That's right, it's not just a moniker. I can't sit here and think of one thing that AJ Styles doesn't do well. He can fly, brawl, wrestle, cut a promo, connect with fans, elevate other workers, he can do it all, and not just well, he can do it all better than anyone in the business. Name someone else who looks as crisp and perfect in the ring as him. Name someone who gives as much effort as he does every time they wrestle. AJ Styles is truly Phenomenal, and if you needed 10 reasons to figure that out, you just haven't been paying attention.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Raw's 900th Episode, Worse than the other 899.
Tonight, We were treated to an event over 17 years in the making, our favorite little wrestling flagship show has aired it's 900th episode, and as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler have no doubt mentioned 3000 times tonight, that is a monumental feat indeed.
So it's time for a big show, right? Get back to your heyday? Well, they kinda did that. If you remember, during the "heyday" of the WWE Attitude Era, there was little to no actual wrestling on Raw.
That's exactly how it was tonight.
Time for a review!
The show started out with....Bret Hart. Pause is there because it took me a long time to discern whether it was Bret Hart, or the Hart Dynasty coming to the ring. He comes out and has a pretty good promo about how Raw has been on forever, and that he was on the very first episode of Raw, and the only other active WWE wrestler who could say that is The Undertaker. So, of course, he wants The Undertaker to come out. Of course, that doesn't happen, as we get Kane. Ah yes, Kane, time for the ratings to skyrocket. Just in case you haven't noticed, Kane really doesn't do anything for me. Anyway, he gives a decent promo about his brother, and the audience groans because they're going to have them feud AGAIN. You see, they don't already know that, because no one watches SmackDown. Kane decides he needs to take out a legend just like when his brother took out HBK at Wrestlemania, so he goes after Hart. At this point, I'm pretty excited. This could be a great way to get this feud over, and make it more entertaining, Kane going crazy jealous and taking out a beloved legend. But, of course, The Undertaker makes the save. I'm pretty sure The Hart Dynasty came out to, and I'm also pretty sure the live crowd didn't have a clue who they were. Then the ghost GM says we will see the match everyone wants to see at this point...Hart vs. Undertaker? Wait, didn't Undertaker just come to save Hart? Isn't Hart like 60? Wouldn't it make more sense to have Hart vs. Kane? I mean, Kane just tried to kill the guy, after all.
What a shitty opening segment that was.
We get a few Raw moments. Highlight of the show so far.
So it's time for a big show, right? Get back to your heyday? Well, they kinda did that. If you remember, during the "heyday" of the WWE Attitude Era, there was little to no actual wrestling on Raw.
That's exactly how it was tonight.
Time for a review!
The show started out with....Bret Hart. Pause is there because it took me a long time to discern whether it was Bret Hart, or the Hart Dynasty coming to the ring. He comes out and has a pretty good promo about how Raw has been on forever, and that he was on the very first episode of Raw, and the only other active WWE wrestler who could say that is The Undertaker. So, of course, he wants The Undertaker to come out. Of course, that doesn't happen, as we get Kane. Ah yes, Kane, time for the ratings to skyrocket. Just in case you haven't noticed, Kane really doesn't do anything for me. Anyway, he gives a decent promo about his brother, and the audience groans because they're going to have them feud AGAIN. You see, they don't already know that, because no one watches SmackDown. Kane decides he needs to take out a legend just like when his brother took out HBK at Wrestlemania, so he goes after Hart. At this point, I'm pretty excited. This could be a great way to get this feud over, and make it more entertaining, Kane going crazy jealous and taking out a beloved legend. But, of course, The Undertaker makes the save. I'm pretty sure The Hart Dynasty came out to, and I'm also pretty sure the live crowd didn't have a clue who they were. Then the ghost GM says we will see the match everyone wants to see at this point...Hart vs. Undertaker? Wait, didn't Undertaker just come to save Hart? Isn't Hart like 60? Wouldn't it make more sense to have Hart vs. Kane? I mean, Kane just tried to kill the guy, after all.
What a shitty opening segment that was.
We get a few Raw moments. Highlight of the show so far.
*Triple Threat Tag Match: Miz & Alex Riley vs. Kaval & Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty*
This is a short, but nice and fast paced match. I'm not sold on Kaval being good. This guy has terrible mic skills, and just looks awkward in and out of the ring. His offense is awesome, but I'm just not sure he has much more to offer than that. Lots of action in this one, with Miz stealing one from Kaval and hence, Daniel Bryan.
**
After the match, Miz and Riley beat down Michael Cole's favorite wrestler. Well, actually, Miz just hits one shot, a stiff looking haymaker with his briefcase. That was the highlight of the night so far.
*Melina & Eve vs. LayCool*
Everyone else seems to find LayCool entertaining. Meh. They just annoy me. They are heels, though, so maybe they're just doing their job. Who knows. This is a bathroom break match, but only if your bathroom break lasts 12 seconds, because that's all this one took. Amazing.
DUD
After the match, LayCool challenge Melina to a Unification match at Night of Champions. What, giving up on the Divas Belt already?
More Clips.
Nexus is in the BACKSTAGE AREA~! Tarver is worried that people are talking about the Nexus getting weak. David Otunga buts in and I wonder why I used to think this guy had mic skills. Wade Barrett says he will do something unforgettable tonight, and he knows just what it is. Then he stops, and stares at the camera for 20 seconds as we head to commercial break. Awesome.
More clips, this time from that terrible raw featuring Bob Barker. WTF?
Jerisho is with Josh Whateverthehell. He says he needs to prove he's still the best in the world at what he does, and he will prove that by losing at NOC and retiring from the WWE for a year or two, and then making a pretty awesome return. Or at least, that's what I heard. We'll miss you, Y2J.
*Number 1 Contender's Match: MoTruth vs. Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre*
I think this match brings the total up to about 4 solid minutes of wrestling tonight. The ref DQ's both teams after they start fighting in the ring. Ha. Also, I know most people don't like him, but Drew McIntyre's music and gimmick are sweet.
DUD
Up next is Hart/Taker! For some reason I'm not excited for this at all.
More clips. At all.
*Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker*
OH god, this match never starts. I'm sensing a theme tonight. Wade Barrett comes to the ring with intent to take out Taker and Bret. Undertaker makes him look like a jobber in seconds, though, and it looks like the match might start after all. But wait, it's Kane! Kane and Taker slug it out until Taker gets Kane for the chokeslam, and Kane is gone. The rest of Nexus comes out, and the lights go off a third time, and when they come on, Wade Barrett has Taker on his shoulders, and delivers that chubby British guy slam or whatever that thing is. Justin Gabriel hits his 450 and Kane's all smiles. That was all really, really dumb.
DUD
Jack SWAGGA comes to the ring and talks trash about Boston. He mentions how Johnny Damon didn't want to leave Detroit for the Sox. Haha. Highlight of the night so far.
*Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne*
I always thought Evan Bourne was overrated anyway, but come on, you started to push the guy, and now you're jobbing him worse than Funaki in his prime. What the fuck did he do? Anyways, this match fits with the there of the night, in that it sucks, aside from Alberto Del Rio coming out and basically talking through the entire thing, which was about 5 minutes. God, and people say Impact doesn't have enough wrestling on it. Swagger wins, Bourne starts to get beatdown by Del Rio after the match, but is saved by Mark Henry.
*
Highlights of the China trip, those people are marks.
More Raw clips.
CM Ounk comes to the ring, and it looks like he's gonna promo. That's good news. He talks about how Raw is a show that is full of bad family values. Jesus, what is this, Right To Censor? Anywho, he counts down the top 4 moments of debauchery in Raw history. Wait....what? Is this a wrestling show, or a freaking sitcom clip show? CM Punk is pulling this off well, but this segment is stupid. It starts to get better after the clips are done, and CM Punk talks down the Rock and Stone Cold, leading to a fake Austin return to disappoint the fans. Then he shows a clip from Smackdown, you know, the one where Lesnar superplexes Big Show and the ring explodes? He then makes fun of Big Show's weight, and speaking of the Big Show, he comes to the ring. Big Show say Punk could do better than talking about his weight. Big Show is pretty funny when he wants to be. Show breaks out his Hogan imitation, which I don't like. I'm sick of everyone imitating Hogan. God damnit. Anyway, the segment ends with Show clearing the ring of the SES. Jesus, shouldn't this feud be over by now? Didn't Show already beat all three of these guys in a handicap match?
More clips
Sheamus comes out in a green shirt. How very Irish of him. You know, I've always thought Sheamus should ditch his music and come out to a redubbed version of Garth Brooks' "Shameless" Only instead of "Shameless" it would say "SHEAMUS" as in "Iiiiiii'm SHEAMUS!" That shit would be so cash. Anyway, he's talking trash about Boston, talking about ho he retired Triple H, etc. and then HOLY SHIT IT'S EDGE. I'm just shocked to see Edge get airtime anymore. He brags about his titles, and say he's going to win the title at Night of Champions. How generic.
*5-on-5 Elimination Match*
This match was ok. It was by far the match of the night, although that is saying absolutely nothing. Nexus goes over, and by 'go over' I mean, Edge and Jericho heel out and get eliminated before the action even starts, and even with a 5-on-3 edge, Nexus still barely squeaks out the win. I guess that's alright, considering that the other team was as decorated as it was, but still. Jericho and Edge being on Raw has been terrible for their characters, I have no idea what their motivations are, and they don't get enough airtime for it to matter anyway. What a shame, and Jericho's more than likely leaving soon, and we don't even get a farewell tour of sorts, just him ducking matches and being an afterthought. Oh well.
**1/2
Overall: God this was a terrible show. The mystery GM thing needs to end, Bret Hart needs to stop wrestling (or at least being advertised to wrestle), and they need to do something with the Nexus to make them entertaining again, because I'm bored with them by now.
*
This is a short, but nice and fast paced match. I'm not sold on Kaval being good. This guy has terrible mic skills, and just looks awkward in and out of the ring. His offense is awesome, but I'm just not sure he has much more to offer than that. Lots of action in this one, with Miz stealing one from Kaval and hence, Daniel Bryan.
**
After the match, Miz and Riley beat down Michael Cole's favorite wrestler. Well, actually, Miz just hits one shot, a stiff looking haymaker with his briefcase. That was the highlight of the night so far.
*Melina & Eve vs. LayCool*
Everyone else seems to find LayCool entertaining. Meh. They just annoy me. They are heels, though, so maybe they're just doing their job. Who knows. This is a bathroom break match, but only if your bathroom break lasts 12 seconds, because that's all this one took. Amazing.
DUD
After the match, LayCool challenge Melina to a Unification match at Night of Champions. What, giving up on the Divas Belt already?
More Clips.
Nexus is in the BACKSTAGE AREA~! Tarver is worried that people are talking about the Nexus getting weak. David Otunga buts in and I wonder why I used to think this guy had mic skills. Wade Barrett says he will do something unforgettable tonight, and he knows just what it is. Then he stops, and stares at the camera for 20 seconds as we head to commercial break. Awesome.
More clips, this time from that terrible raw featuring Bob Barker. WTF?
Jerisho is with Josh Whateverthehell. He says he needs to prove he's still the best in the world at what he does, and he will prove that by losing at NOC and retiring from the WWE for a year or two, and then making a pretty awesome return. Or at least, that's what I heard. We'll miss you, Y2J.
*Number 1 Contender's Match: MoTruth vs. Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre*
I think this match brings the total up to about 4 solid minutes of wrestling tonight. The ref DQ's both teams after they start fighting in the ring. Ha. Also, I know most people don't like him, but Drew McIntyre's music and gimmick are sweet.
DUD
Up next is Hart/Taker! For some reason I'm not excited for this at all.
More clips. At all.
*Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker*
OH god, this match never starts. I'm sensing a theme tonight. Wade Barrett comes to the ring with intent to take out Taker and Bret. Undertaker makes him look like a jobber in seconds, though, and it looks like the match might start after all. But wait, it's Kane! Kane and Taker slug it out until Taker gets Kane for the chokeslam, and Kane is gone. The rest of Nexus comes out, and the lights go off a third time, and when they come on, Wade Barrett has Taker on his shoulders, and delivers that chubby British guy slam or whatever that thing is. Justin Gabriel hits his 450 and Kane's all smiles. That was all really, really dumb.
DUD
Jack SWAGGA comes to the ring and talks trash about Boston. He mentions how Johnny Damon didn't want to leave Detroit for the Sox. Haha. Highlight of the night so far.
*Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne*
I always thought Evan Bourne was overrated anyway, but come on, you started to push the guy, and now you're jobbing him worse than Funaki in his prime. What the fuck did he do? Anyways, this match fits with the there of the night, in that it sucks, aside from Alberto Del Rio coming out and basically talking through the entire thing, which was about 5 minutes. God, and people say Impact doesn't have enough wrestling on it. Swagger wins, Bourne starts to get beatdown by Del Rio after the match, but is saved by Mark Henry.
*
Highlights of the China trip, those people are marks.
More Raw clips.
CM Ounk comes to the ring, and it looks like he's gonna promo. That's good news. He talks about how Raw is a show that is full of bad family values. Jesus, what is this, Right To Censor? Anywho, he counts down the top 4 moments of debauchery in Raw history. Wait....what? Is this a wrestling show, or a freaking sitcom clip show? CM Punk is pulling this off well, but this segment is stupid. It starts to get better after the clips are done, and CM Punk talks down the Rock and Stone Cold, leading to a fake Austin return to disappoint the fans. Then he shows a clip from Smackdown, you know, the one where Lesnar superplexes Big Show and the ring explodes? He then makes fun of Big Show's weight, and speaking of the Big Show, he comes to the ring. Big Show say Punk could do better than talking about his weight. Big Show is pretty funny when he wants to be. Show breaks out his Hogan imitation, which I don't like. I'm sick of everyone imitating Hogan. God damnit. Anyway, the segment ends with Show clearing the ring of the SES. Jesus, shouldn't this feud be over by now? Didn't Show already beat all three of these guys in a handicap match?
More clips
Sheamus comes out in a green shirt. How very Irish of him. You know, I've always thought Sheamus should ditch his music and come out to a redubbed version of Garth Brooks' "Shameless" Only instead of "Shameless" it would say "SHEAMUS" as in "Iiiiiii'm SHEAMUS!" That shit would be so cash. Anyway, he's talking trash about Boston, talking about ho he retired Triple H, etc. and then HOLY SHIT IT'S EDGE. I'm just shocked to see Edge get airtime anymore. He brags about his titles, and say he's going to win the title at Night of Champions. How generic.
*5-on-5 Elimination Match*
This match was ok. It was by far the match of the night, although that is saying absolutely nothing. Nexus goes over, and by 'go over' I mean, Edge and Jericho heel out and get eliminated before the action even starts, and even with a 5-on-3 edge, Nexus still barely squeaks out the win. I guess that's alright, considering that the other team was as decorated as it was, but still. Jericho and Edge being on Raw has been terrible for their characters, I have no idea what their motivations are, and they don't get enough airtime for it to matter anyway. What a shame, and Jericho's more than likely leaving soon, and we don't even get a farewell tour of sorts, just him ducking matches and being an afterthought. Oh well.
**1/2
Overall: God this was a terrible show. The mystery GM thing needs to end, Bret Hart needs to stop wrestling (or at least being advertised to wrestle), and they need to do something with the Nexus to make them entertaining again, because I'm bored with them by now.
*
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Rob Franklin's Uninformed Booking 101
I'm not a wrestling genius, I'm not the most creative mind in the world, far from it, but I think I know what works in pro wrestling, and what doesn't. It's funny to me that it seems that most of the guys booking pro wrestling shows these days...don't.
So this is a shout-out to those guys. Take your college degrees, your wrestling background, etc, and forget about it. It's not working. Wrestling ratings are dooowwwnnnnn all across the board, and it all falls squarely on the bookers and writers. The wrestlers themselves are arguably more talented than they were at any other time in pro wrestling's history.
Lesson One: Push the right guys.
Let's look at the main event scene in the WWE, shall we? We have Jericho, Edge, Cena, Orton, Sheamus, Mysterio, Kane Undertaker, and Swagger.
For the most part, that list is good. However, I personally wouldn't put guys like Cena and Kane at the top, they obviously work up there, and even though Swagger and Sheamus are green, and lack the overness to be called true stars in this business, they're being pushed like they are.
But, with two sets of rosters, you no doubt need more guys than that at the top. On Smackdown there are plenty of guys who could fill in the main event, such as CM Punk, who would have been included in the former list a year ago, but hasn't really been in a main event position in some time. There's also guys like John Morrison, R Truth, Kofi Kingston, etc, who could be main eventers in some cases, but are usually regulated to mid-cards.
So who do you push? Who's the next main eventer? I have some names that I think are not only talented enough, but could be more talented than some of the current top guys: The Miz, Wade Barrett, Christian, and Evan Bourne. In the Miz's case, he's already well on his way to becoming a huge star in the WWE, and will no doubt be on that list a few months from now. As far as Barrett goes, he's also getting a huge push right now, and looks to be on the track to stardom himself. In Christian's case, he's main evented already for TNA, and had one of the more enjoyable title runs of that time there. The fact that he hasn't been pushed at all in the WWE is a disappointment to me. And Bourne? He looked primed to jump into position to be a main eventer, but WWE completely dropped the ball on him, and he's back to be a jobber on Raw.
So now, you've got your main event scene all fleshed out, who's THE GUY? We all know that THE GUY is the Hogan/Austin type character who can lead the WWE on his back in terms of popularity and crossover appeal. Now, you may say "Wait, John Cena already IS the Guy!" Yeah, well, he's failed as The Guy. He carried the company on his back, and that lead to the greatest fan backlash ever directed to a main-event face, plus the lowest ratings in over a decade. Now, it's not all his fault, but he's not bringing in any new fans, either.
Who's the guy? Randy Orton is The Guy.
Orton right now may be the best all-around performer in the biz. He has it all, he looks like a star, he plays his role to a tee, he's very solid in the ring, he's solid on the mic. If he could improve his mic skills a bit (he's getting better) he could easily rake in a ton of cash for VKM and company.
How about TNA? At the top, they have RVD, AJ Styles, Abyss, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Sting, and Mr. Anderson.
Who should they add to that list? I would add Samoa Joe, Desmond Wolfe, The Pope, and Jay Lethal. It's obvious that I have a (non-homo) thing for Samoa Joe. The guy's plain out awesome, so there's no need to explain his inclusion. He's been to the top of TNA before, but Hogan and Bischoff have ruined that. Desmond Wolfe is also plain awesome. His in-ring ability is unmatched in TNA save guys like Angle and Styles, plus he's above average on the stick, and he's got a very good gimmick to work with. The Pope was on the cusp of the main event when he was injured, and he was performing very well in that role, however, it looks as though Hogan and Bischoff don't see him as a top star, because he has been de-pushed ever since he returned. The opposite can be said about Jay Lethal, who has been pushed to the moon the past few months, and has performed pretty well for himself against Flair and Styles.
So now you have your Main eventers, TNA, who's THE GUY? Just like the WWE, you need a poster boy to represent TNA, to take it to new heights.
AJ Styles. Need I say more?
He's been THE GUY in TNA before. Prior to Angle coming to Orlando, a guy named Styles was the top star in TNA, much to Jeff Jarrett's chagrin. Now that Angle is in the twilight of his career, AJ should be that guy once again. He has everything you could ask for in a top guy, the look, the mic skills, the in-ring talent, he just needs to be booked as a top guy. Maybe take Ric Flair away from him and let him lead Fortune by himself. He deserves the ball and the chance to run with it.
Lesson Two: Set yourself apart
In every "boom period" in pro wrestling, there was soemthing that set it apart. In the 80s it was cartoonish hero vs. villians, and in the 90s it was edge, and the anti-hero. What would the 2010 boom period be known for? Both companies have to figure that out themselves. Maybe the WWE should go in a more athletic direction, since Vince seems to want acceptance from the general public. Squeeky-clean storylines and better quality acrobatic wrestling might be their ticket.
And TNA? Do the exact opposite. If I saw the WWE going in a more family friendly direction, I would play to the fans who want more of an edgy show. The teenagers, the young males who dominated the fanbase in the late 90s. Fire a guy like Russo, who isn't edgy (or good) anymore, and give the reigns to Paul Heyman, and tell him to unleash the most edgy programming he can think of. Don't be vulgar, but put some sex, blood and violence out there. Those things are the very backbone of American entertainment.
Lesson Three: NO LETDOWNS
Example: IT's early 2010. Legacy, featuring Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase are starting to crack. Orton and DiBiase are both scheduled to compete in the Elimination Chamber match a month before Wrestlemania. During the match, Orton and DiBiase work together, decimating the whole field together, until Cody Rhodes slides a lead pipe in to DiBiase. Cena has Orton on his shoulders at this point, and DiBiase nails both Orton, and Cena with the pipe. After a great spot where The Fortunate Son mulls over who he will pin, he decides to eliminate his mentor, Orton. As the announce team calls, it was a huge crossroads in DiBiase's career, and the crowd was very into him and his story in this match. He could be made a superstar on this night, he could make a name for himself right there, and yet, he is promptly eliminated10 seconds later by Kofi Kingston.
That's just bad booking. Don't do that. Don't create golden opportunities for guys and then promptly shit all over them. It's not good. Same goes for Evan Bourne's treatment, and Daniel Bryan, and The Pope in TNA, and AJ styles in TNA. Don't build guys up, and then throw them right back down. It disappoints the fanbase, and wastes time. If you're going to push someone, do it. If you're not, don't. Shit like that ruins guys' careers. Ask Marty Janetty.
Lesson Four: Make your titles mean something.
No, TNA. Just....no. Don't change the name of one of your titles every two weeks. Don't have SIX championships and a roster of 40 people. Don't have titles change hands via "LOCK BOKS SHOWDOWNAHHH." Just get rid of the Knockouts Tag Titles (I'm still iffy on the TV title, but I would keep it.), protect your titles better, and never, never, nevernevernever NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER do a "lockbox" match again. Fuck.
As for the WWE, just make your secondary titles a bigger deal. The IC and US titles are hardly, if ever defended on PPV, and they never have feuds devoted to them. Also, the tag titles are about as coveted as a cheese sandwich around there, and there's no need to have two Diva belts when there's not two divas in the entire company who deserve them.
But the WWE's biggest problem is the prestige of their World belts. The Two world titles change hands just about every few months apiece, and are frequently used as a way to get new guys over, instead of a way to showcase the top guy and create feuds for him. Stop doing that. I like Sheamus, I like Swagger, but neither of those guys were over enough to be the champ. I can understand Sheamus' reign, as it created a new star when they were in desperate need of one, and showcased some well-needed unpredictability, but you had six months to get Swagger over, and you pulled the trigger a week into his MITB reign.
Titles should mean more that what they do in wrestling as a whole. They should be the centerpiece of feuds, and they should go to the elite in each divisions. I like title changes as much as the next guy, but too many defeats the purpose.
And our final lesson for today's class,
Lesson Five: Keep it Simple, Stupid.
This one is mainly for TNA. Calm down a little bit. Stop trying to confuse the fans, and inject a little sense into what you're doing. No more reverse battle royals, or revolving door contenders, or confusing wrestler dynamics or whacky finishes. Just stick to what you do best, wrestling. Stop trying to fit four hours into a 2 hour show every week, and narrow your focus to one big storyline at a time, not 50 smaller ones. The fans don't know what to care about, so they choose to care about nothing.
Not good.
.....
So, in conclusion, just tighten it all up, pick a guy to ride into the future, and keep it simple. Protect your titles, be different, and don't let down your fans.
Should make for better wrestling all over.
So this was Class One in Booking 101. I hope you were taking notes, Vince.
(lol which vince am i talking about)
So this is a shout-out to those guys. Take your college degrees, your wrestling background, etc, and forget about it. It's not working. Wrestling ratings are dooowwwnnnnn all across the board, and it all falls squarely on the bookers and writers. The wrestlers themselves are arguably more talented than they were at any other time in pro wrestling's history.
Lesson One: Push the right guys.
Let's look at the main event scene in the WWE, shall we? We have Jericho, Edge, Cena, Orton, Sheamus, Mysterio, Kane Undertaker, and Swagger.
For the most part, that list is good. However, I personally wouldn't put guys like Cena and Kane at the top, they obviously work up there, and even though Swagger and Sheamus are green, and lack the overness to be called true stars in this business, they're being pushed like they are.
But, with two sets of rosters, you no doubt need more guys than that at the top. On Smackdown there are plenty of guys who could fill in the main event, such as CM Punk, who would have been included in the former list a year ago, but hasn't really been in a main event position in some time. There's also guys like John Morrison, R Truth, Kofi Kingston, etc, who could be main eventers in some cases, but are usually regulated to mid-cards.
So who do you push? Who's the next main eventer? I have some names that I think are not only talented enough, but could be more talented than some of the current top guys: The Miz, Wade Barrett, Christian, and Evan Bourne. In the Miz's case, he's already well on his way to becoming a huge star in the WWE, and will no doubt be on that list a few months from now. As far as Barrett goes, he's also getting a huge push right now, and looks to be on the track to stardom himself. In Christian's case, he's main evented already for TNA, and had one of the more enjoyable title runs of that time there. The fact that he hasn't been pushed at all in the WWE is a disappointment to me. And Bourne? He looked primed to jump into position to be a main eventer, but WWE completely dropped the ball on him, and he's back to be a jobber on Raw.
So now, you've got your main event scene all fleshed out, who's THE GUY? We all know that THE GUY is the Hogan/Austin type character who can lead the WWE on his back in terms of popularity and crossover appeal. Now, you may say "Wait, John Cena already IS the Guy!" Yeah, well, he's failed as The Guy. He carried the company on his back, and that lead to the greatest fan backlash ever directed to a main-event face, plus the lowest ratings in over a decade. Now, it's not all his fault, but he's not bringing in any new fans, either.
Who's the guy? Randy Orton is The Guy.
Orton right now may be the best all-around performer in the biz. He has it all, he looks like a star, he plays his role to a tee, he's very solid in the ring, he's solid on the mic. If he could improve his mic skills a bit (he's getting better) he could easily rake in a ton of cash for VKM and company.
How about TNA? At the top, they have RVD, AJ Styles, Abyss, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Sting, and Mr. Anderson.
Who should they add to that list? I would add Samoa Joe, Desmond Wolfe, The Pope, and Jay Lethal. It's obvious that I have a (non-homo) thing for Samoa Joe. The guy's plain out awesome, so there's no need to explain his inclusion. He's been to the top of TNA before, but Hogan and Bischoff have ruined that. Desmond Wolfe is also plain awesome. His in-ring ability is unmatched in TNA save guys like Angle and Styles, plus he's above average on the stick, and he's got a very good gimmick to work with. The Pope was on the cusp of the main event when he was injured, and he was performing very well in that role, however, it looks as though Hogan and Bischoff don't see him as a top star, because he has been de-pushed ever since he returned. The opposite can be said about Jay Lethal, who has been pushed to the moon the past few months, and has performed pretty well for himself against Flair and Styles.
So now you have your Main eventers, TNA, who's THE GUY? Just like the WWE, you need a poster boy to represent TNA, to take it to new heights.
AJ Styles. Need I say more?
He's been THE GUY in TNA before. Prior to Angle coming to Orlando, a guy named Styles was the top star in TNA, much to Jeff Jarrett's chagrin. Now that Angle is in the twilight of his career, AJ should be that guy once again. He has everything you could ask for in a top guy, the look, the mic skills, the in-ring talent, he just needs to be booked as a top guy. Maybe take Ric Flair away from him and let him lead Fortune by himself. He deserves the ball and the chance to run with it.
Lesson Two: Set yourself apart
In every "boom period" in pro wrestling, there was soemthing that set it apart. In the 80s it was cartoonish hero vs. villians, and in the 90s it was edge, and the anti-hero. What would the 2010 boom period be known for? Both companies have to figure that out themselves. Maybe the WWE should go in a more athletic direction, since Vince seems to want acceptance from the general public. Squeeky-clean storylines and better quality acrobatic wrestling might be their ticket.
And TNA? Do the exact opposite. If I saw the WWE going in a more family friendly direction, I would play to the fans who want more of an edgy show. The teenagers, the young males who dominated the fanbase in the late 90s. Fire a guy like Russo, who isn't edgy (or good) anymore, and give the reigns to Paul Heyman, and tell him to unleash the most edgy programming he can think of. Don't be vulgar, but put some sex, blood and violence out there. Those things are the very backbone of American entertainment.
Lesson Three: NO LETDOWNS
Example: IT's early 2010. Legacy, featuring Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase are starting to crack. Orton and DiBiase are both scheduled to compete in the Elimination Chamber match a month before Wrestlemania. During the match, Orton and DiBiase work together, decimating the whole field together, until Cody Rhodes slides a lead pipe in to DiBiase. Cena has Orton on his shoulders at this point, and DiBiase nails both Orton, and Cena with the pipe. After a great spot where The Fortunate Son mulls over who he will pin, he decides to eliminate his mentor, Orton. As the announce team calls, it was a huge crossroads in DiBiase's career, and the crowd was very into him and his story in this match. He could be made a superstar on this night, he could make a name for himself right there, and yet, he is promptly eliminated10 seconds later by Kofi Kingston.
That's just bad booking. Don't do that. Don't create golden opportunities for guys and then promptly shit all over them. It's not good. Same goes for Evan Bourne's treatment, and Daniel Bryan, and The Pope in TNA, and AJ styles in TNA. Don't build guys up, and then throw them right back down. It disappoints the fanbase, and wastes time. If you're going to push someone, do it. If you're not, don't. Shit like that ruins guys' careers. Ask Marty Janetty.
Lesson Four: Make your titles mean something.
No, TNA. Just....no. Don't change the name of one of your titles every two weeks. Don't have SIX championships and a roster of 40 people. Don't have titles change hands via "LOCK BOKS SHOWDOWNAHHH." Just get rid of the Knockouts Tag Titles (I'm still iffy on the TV title, but I would keep it.), protect your titles better, and never, never, nevernevernever NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER do a "lockbox" match again. Fuck.
As for the WWE, just make your secondary titles a bigger deal. The IC and US titles are hardly, if ever defended on PPV, and they never have feuds devoted to them. Also, the tag titles are about as coveted as a cheese sandwich around there, and there's no need to have two Diva belts when there's not two divas in the entire company who deserve them.
But the WWE's biggest problem is the prestige of their World belts. The Two world titles change hands just about every few months apiece, and are frequently used as a way to get new guys over, instead of a way to showcase the top guy and create feuds for him. Stop doing that. I like Sheamus, I like Swagger, but neither of those guys were over enough to be the champ. I can understand Sheamus' reign, as it created a new star when they were in desperate need of one, and showcased some well-needed unpredictability, but you had six months to get Swagger over, and you pulled the trigger a week into his MITB reign.
Titles should mean more that what they do in wrestling as a whole. They should be the centerpiece of feuds, and they should go to the elite in each divisions. I like title changes as much as the next guy, but too many defeats the purpose.
And our final lesson for today's class,
Lesson Five: Keep it Simple, Stupid.
This one is mainly for TNA. Calm down a little bit. Stop trying to confuse the fans, and inject a little sense into what you're doing. No more reverse battle royals, or revolving door contenders, or confusing wrestler dynamics or whacky finishes. Just stick to what you do best, wrestling. Stop trying to fit four hours into a 2 hour show every week, and narrow your focus to one big storyline at a time, not 50 smaller ones. The fans don't know what to care about, so they choose to care about nothing.
Not good.
.....
So, in conclusion, just tighten it all up, pick a guy to ride into the future, and keep it simple. Protect your titles, be different, and don't let down your fans.
Should make for better wrestling all over.
So this was Class One in Booking 101. I hope you were taking notes, Vince.
(lol which vince am i talking about)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Quick Opinion on TNA's ECW Pay Per View
First of all, this idea is moronic at it's base. In theory this will do nothing for the TNA brand, and is just a cheap way of getting PPV buys.
However, I've been looking at what is rumored for the event. RVD vs. Jerry Lynn. Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven. Scorpio, The Sandman, Sabu, all already confirmed to appear, with others like the FBI, Spike Dudley, Bill Alfonso, Shane Douglas, etc.
This could be awesome.
Dixie "Queen of Marks" Carter said she wanted this to be done right, and done better than One Night Stand, and I've gotta say, with those two matches all but confirmed, along with the talent they are reaching out to,
it could be.
So I reserve the right to with-hold judgment on TNA's "HardCORE Justice" until I see it for myself.
However, I've been looking at what is rumored for the event. RVD vs. Jerry Lynn. Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven. Scorpio, The Sandman, Sabu, all already confirmed to appear, with others like the FBI, Spike Dudley, Bill Alfonso, Shane Douglas, etc.
This could be awesome.
Dixie "Queen of Marks" Carter said she wanted this to be done right, and done better than One Night Stand, and I've gotta say, with those two matches all but confirmed, along with the talent they are reaching out to,
it could be.
So I reserve the right to with-hold judgment on TNA's "HardCORE Justice" until I see it for myself.
Whatever Happened To: Monty Brown?
For a few weeks now, something's been eating at me. I recently re-watched Wrestlemania 23, which featured a match pitting Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, RVD, and The Sandman against Elijah "The Pope" Burke, Kevin Thorne, Matt "The Worst Commentator this side of Michael Cole" Striker, and a guy named Marcus Cor Von.
Watching this, I made a joke. After the ECW Originals won the match, I said "who's the real winner here? None of those guys are employed by this company anymore."
After all, Striker went on to host NXT and take turns ruining countless WWE shows.
Kevin Thorne...well, he had a good run.
Elijah Burke is getting a main-event push in TNA.
And Marcus Cor Von (AKA "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown) is....
...
I have no idea what happened to that guy.
First, let me refresh your memory about the guy they call "The Alpha Male."
He was a star collegiate football player. (That's what they tell me, although he did play for 'ferris state') However, he was unable to keep a lasting career in the NFL, playing four seasons with the Bills, and then moving to the Patriots, before a career-ending ankle injury.
During his pro career, Brown played in a Superbowl, and started at right outside linebacker for both squads.
However, his passion all along (so he says) was professional wrestling. He even went as far as to say he only went to New England to get closer to the WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut.
So he finally got his chance. Brown worked sporadically for TNA for a while before finally getting a full-on roster spot on March 10th, 2004.
Brown was billed as an African Predator. He wore leopard-skin trunks, and acted as if he was on the prowl. This is the time where he developed the FREAKING COOLEST finisher of all time.
THE POUNCEEEEEEEEE~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I don't care what anyone says, that thing looks more devastating than any finisher in WWE or TNA right now. Plus, throw in the fact that the fans know of his football background, and it's a legit finish, and an awesome looking one, at that.
Brown went on to win the PWI Rookie of the Year award for 2004. He was almost instantly over by the fans, and quickly made his way to the main event scene in the young promotion.
He took turns both feuding, and teaming with, Jeff Jarrett for the better part of two years, as TNA failed to pull the trigger on one of the hottest superstars they had. After middling in upper mid-card status until mid-2006, Monty Brown left TNA.
Brown was quickly snatched up by WWE in November of 2006. His signing was announced on the WWE Website. I remember it now, thinking that the WWE was going to push this guy to the moon. After all, it's not often WWE announces a developmental signing on the front page of their website.
Brown made his debut on the new-ish ECW Brand, winning his first WWE match in squash fashion. Only, something was different.
His name.
That's right, he might as well been called Lloyd Boner, because even that would be better than the travesty of a shitty, moronic, shitty, moronic, Stephanie McMahon name they gave him.
Marquis Cor Von.
WELL THAT'S GONNA SELL T SHIRTS.
God damnit, just let the guy use his real name. There's no reason not to. Sure, I know you love trademarking guy's names, but come on, the guy played, and STARTED, in the NFL! He has some name recognition already! Even if you don't count TNA exposure as name recognition, he hold collegiate records, and he played in a superbowl!
Anyway, after the Days of Our Live- I mean, WWE writers had a think tank meeting, they came to the conclusion that "Marquis Cor Von" would never get over.
But MARCUS COR VON SURE THE FUCK WOULD!
So, after two Eugene-esque name fuck-ups, Cor Von was an ECW 'Superstar.'
He spent the next year involved in a feud with the ECW Originals as part of the New Breed stable.
That stable would have been awesome, if the WWE writers would have done anything with the guys that were in it after they disbanded. Except for Matt Striker.
Oh, ONLY Matt Striker is left from that stable?
Good eye, WWE. Good eye.
Anyway, after that feud, Brown started to get less and less time on ECW. This is when he asked for time off for unknown 'family issues.'
He's never come back. He was released a few months later, and hasn't come back.
According to his wikipedia page, he's currently developing athletic clothing. I guess that means he's lost his passion for wrestling.
It's a shame, too. The guy went to two straight promotions who both missed the boat on a guy who could have been a major star. He's probably too old (40) to make another serious run now, and who knows if he would even want to.
So I guess that's it. We'll never know the whole truth when it comes to Monty Brown.
I just know that I'd be satisfied with one last run in either WWE or TNA, even if it is in the midcard, even if he does have a fucktarded name.
Guy was pretty awesome.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Stolen Topic: Loyalty in pro wrestling
Tom Holzerman recently posted a blog about loyalty in wrestling, http://wallsofjerichoholic.blogspot.com/2010/07/loyalty-and-wrestling.html .
By the way, if you don't read Holzerman's blog yet, go right ahead and do so. The guy is extremely good.
Anyway, in the aforementioned blog, he talks about loyalty in wrestling. This all comes on the heels of LeBronmageddon that wasted an hour of all our times last night on ESPN.
The NBA, and pro wrestling are both very similar in the regard of loyalty in my opinion. LeBron is now reviled throughout the nation for leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers in boring and arguably self absorbed fashion in "The Decision~!"
In an unrelated note, that terrible special did better ratings than WWE Raw, Smackdown, NXT, and TNA Impact combined get in a week.
LeBron James left Cleveland for the greener pastures of the Miami Heat, joining fellow superstars Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh, and of course, Mario Chalmers.
Not to mention the 7-9 other roster spots that will no doubt be filled with the best minimum contract talent money can buy.
But, knowing this, it brings up a very fair set of questions.
In basketball, is loyalty a big deal for players? I understand that the way LeBron went about announcing his decision was sickeningly terrible TV, and even worse goodwill directed to his former following in Cleveland, but was the act of leaving in the first place so bad? Did LeBron owe the Cavs more?
The answer, simply, is no.
He owes his team nothing other than to try his damnedest to win while being a part of it. That's the bottom line. There is no loyalty in sports, and even when there is, is a rarity.
Let's pretend. Let's say King James isn't the best NBA player on the planet, he's a scrub. He's never led his team to back-to-back 60-win seasons, he's never done anything, and the Cavs don't need him anymore.
Do they stay loyal to him? Do they keep him on the team because he's a hometown boy?
Hell no. He's out on his ass with a simple bit of paperwork, regardless of the contract that he signed.
That's the thing. In sports, you can simply cut a player on a whim without needing to explain yourself. Those 'contracts' these players sign mean nothing in regards to owners. They're one-way streets.
So why would any player be loyal to the owners? Why would they feel the need to stay in one place regardless of the talent around them? The organization would cut them in a heartbeat if they were unhappy with them, or they would trade them to another team, usually without consent from the player. These players are slaves to their owners with very little power over their own career.
That's why I'm a supporter of the players 9 times out of 10. NFL players holding out? Good on them, it's really the only time they can get the money they need to be able to retire when they're run out of the league at 33. Players leaving their teams, or asking to be traded? Fine. Sometimes it's annoying, and even at times unjustified, but after a player asks for a trade, it's up to the owners to trade them, or not. Still, even asking for a trade leaves very little power in the player's hands.
But what does all of this have to do with pro wrestling?
I recall during the Monday Night Wars, when top guy after top guy was defecting to WCW from the WWF, people all over were griping about the lack of loyalty. 'It's all about money!' Well, yeah. It IS all about money sometimes. If someone offered me double the money (still wouldn't be much) to quit my job outright, and take a new one, you bet your ass I would go. To not would just be stupid. It's the same with these wrestlers.
But of course, they deal with several millions of dollars while we only get mere thousands per year.
Yeah, but what's the difference between $10 million and $20 million? 10 years of retirement. Don't forget, these guys, whether they be basketball players or wrestlers, receive a tremendous toll on their bodies every year.
And why do we expect these guys to be loyal anyway? Loyalty isn't something that you just give to someone because they hire you. Yeah, be thankful for the job, but they hired you for their own benefit, not yours.
I'm loyal to my family, I'm loyal to my friends. I believe loyalty is a great quality to have, but I'm loyal to people that I love, people that I respect, and people that return the loyalty back to me. The Cav's aren't loyal to their players, the WWE and TNA aren't loyal to their wrestlers, and the players and workers should return this sentiment by looking for opportunities elsewhere when they feel they aren't being treated right.
Not saying that guys need to switch teams (or promotions) every year, or demand billion dollar contracts, I'm saying that as long as you represent your employer well, and work hard for them at all times, that's about as far as your loyalty needs to go.
All of this, and we haven't even tipped the iceberg about wrestling yet. Wrestlers aren't treated very well. They don't get health benefits, most of them pay their own travel expenses, and if they aren't needed any longer, they're thrown away.
And god forbid they get released from the WWE. They'll be labeled a "wwe reject" and smark morons will have a coronary if they see them working for any other major promotions.
Take the recent case of one Bryan Danielson for consideration. The man worked his ass off in the WWE. He did everything he was asked to do, and yet he was fired, gone from the best job he's ever had, and the most exposure he could ever dream of, because Linda McMahon wants to pretend wrestling is a Disney production.
Is that fair? Is that loyal?
How about a guy like Droz? For those that don't know, Droz was a fairly promising wrestler who was tragically injured during a match with DLo Brown. He can't walk anymore. Now, thankfully, the WWE still employs Droz in some capacity, but the fact is, they really don't have to. They still keep him around, which I give them a ton of credit for, but they could have legally just released, or waited for his contract to run out, and not resigned him.
But if a company gets injured, like WCW did by going out of business, the wrestlers must still honor their contracts. This may have been the key reason for the terrible execution of the Invasion angle pitting WWE vs. WCW, as Vince didn't spend the money to buy out important and popular WCW mainstays that would have actually made them seem credible, opting instead to trot out a team led by Booker T that also consisted of KroniK, Chris Kanyon, and of course, Shane, Stephanie, Kurt Angle, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
What?
Never mind, let's just say, it was not good. It's wasn't good at all, and it's all because guys like Hogan, Goldberg, Nash, Hall, Mysterio, etc, etc, etc, weren't there.
Not sure about all of those guys, but I can vouch that most of them at least weren't brought in because of their AOL contracts.
So what's he bottom line here? Do things need to change? I don't know if they do or not, but until they do, I won't blame any of these athletes or wrestlers for jumping ship. Loyalty is something that is earned, and sports teams and pro wrestling companies haven't earned that by treating the guys that work for them like pieces of meat, or trading cards, and not human beings.
By the way, if you don't read Holzerman's blog yet, go right ahead and do so. The guy is extremely good.
Anyway, in the aforementioned blog, he talks about loyalty in wrestling. This all comes on the heels of LeBronmageddon that wasted an hour of all our times last night on ESPN.
The NBA, and pro wrestling are both very similar in the regard of loyalty in my opinion. LeBron is now reviled throughout the nation for leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers in boring and arguably self absorbed fashion in "The Decision~!"
In an unrelated note, that terrible special did better ratings than WWE Raw, Smackdown, NXT, and TNA Impact combined get in a week.
LeBron James left Cleveland for the greener pastures of the Miami Heat, joining fellow superstars Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh, and of course, Mario Chalmers.
Not to mention the 7-9 other roster spots that will no doubt be filled with the best minimum contract talent money can buy.
But, knowing this, it brings up a very fair set of questions.
In basketball, is loyalty a big deal for players? I understand that the way LeBron went about announcing his decision was sickeningly terrible TV, and even worse goodwill directed to his former following in Cleveland, but was the act of leaving in the first place so bad? Did LeBron owe the Cavs more?
The answer, simply, is no.
He owes his team nothing other than to try his damnedest to win while being a part of it. That's the bottom line. There is no loyalty in sports, and even when there is, is a rarity.
Let's pretend. Let's say King James isn't the best NBA player on the planet, he's a scrub. He's never led his team to back-to-back 60-win seasons, he's never done anything, and the Cavs don't need him anymore.
Do they stay loyal to him? Do they keep him on the team because he's a hometown boy?
Hell no. He's out on his ass with a simple bit of paperwork, regardless of the contract that he signed.
That's the thing. In sports, you can simply cut a player on a whim without needing to explain yourself. Those 'contracts' these players sign mean nothing in regards to owners. They're one-way streets.
So why would any player be loyal to the owners? Why would they feel the need to stay in one place regardless of the talent around them? The organization would cut them in a heartbeat if they were unhappy with them, or they would trade them to another team, usually without consent from the player. These players are slaves to their owners with very little power over their own career.
That's why I'm a supporter of the players 9 times out of 10. NFL players holding out? Good on them, it's really the only time they can get the money they need to be able to retire when they're run out of the league at 33. Players leaving their teams, or asking to be traded? Fine. Sometimes it's annoying, and even at times unjustified, but after a player asks for a trade, it's up to the owners to trade them, or not. Still, even asking for a trade leaves very little power in the player's hands.
But what does all of this have to do with pro wrestling?
I recall during the Monday Night Wars, when top guy after top guy was defecting to WCW from the WWF, people all over were griping about the lack of loyalty. 'It's all about money!' Well, yeah. It IS all about money sometimes. If someone offered me double the money (still wouldn't be much) to quit my job outright, and take a new one, you bet your ass I would go. To not would just be stupid. It's the same with these wrestlers.
But of course, they deal with several millions of dollars while we only get mere thousands per year.
Yeah, but what's the difference between $10 million and $20 million? 10 years of retirement. Don't forget, these guys, whether they be basketball players or wrestlers, receive a tremendous toll on their bodies every year.
And why do we expect these guys to be loyal anyway? Loyalty isn't something that you just give to someone because they hire you. Yeah, be thankful for the job, but they hired you for their own benefit, not yours.
I'm loyal to my family, I'm loyal to my friends. I believe loyalty is a great quality to have, but I'm loyal to people that I love, people that I respect, and people that return the loyalty back to me. The Cav's aren't loyal to their players, the WWE and TNA aren't loyal to their wrestlers, and the players and workers should return this sentiment by looking for opportunities elsewhere when they feel they aren't being treated right.
Not saying that guys need to switch teams (or promotions) every year, or demand billion dollar contracts, I'm saying that as long as you represent your employer well, and work hard for them at all times, that's about as far as your loyalty needs to go.
All of this, and we haven't even tipped the iceberg about wrestling yet. Wrestlers aren't treated very well. They don't get health benefits, most of them pay their own travel expenses, and if they aren't needed any longer, they're thrown away.
And god forbid they get released from the WWE. They'll be labeled a "wwe reject" and smark morons will have a coronary if they see them working for any other major promotions.
Take the recent case of one Bryan Danielson for consideration. The man worked his ass off in the WWE. He did everything he was asked to do, and yet he was fired, gone from the best job he's ever had, and the most exposure he could ever dream of, because Linda McMahon wants to pretend wrestling is a Disney production.
Is that fair? Is that loyal?
How about a guy like Droz? For those that don't know, Droz was a fairly promising wrestler who was tragically injured during a match with DLo Brown. He can't walk anymore. Now, thankfully, the WWE still employs Droz in some capacity, but the fact is, they really don't have to. They still keep him around, which I give them a ton of credit for, but they could have legally just released, or waited for his contract to run out, and not resigned him.
But if a company gets injured, like WCW did by going out of business, the wrestlers must still honor their contracts. This may have been the key reason for the terrible execution of the Invasion angle pitting WWE vs. WCW, as Vince didn't spend the money to buy out important and popular WCW mainstays that would have actually made them seem credible, opting instead to trot out a team led by Booker T that also consisted of KroniK, Chris Kanyon, and of course, Shane, Stephanie, Kurt Angle, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
What?
Never mind, let's just say, it was not good. It's wasn't good at all, and it's all because guys like Hogan, Goldberg, Nash, Hall, Mysterio, etc, etc, etc, weren't there.
Not sure about all of those guys, but I can vouch that most of them at least weren't brought in because of their AOL contracts.
So what's he bottom line here? Do things need to change? I don't know if they do or not, but until they do, I won't blame any of these athletes or wrestlers for jumping ship. Loyalty is something that is earned, and sports teams and pro wrestling companies haven't earned that by treating the guys that work for them like pieces of meat, or trading cards, and not human beings.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Why Am I a TNA Fan?
I'm the kind of guy who likes to be straightforward. I like to tell people things about myself that, maybe, aren't too flattering.
For example, on first dates, I make sure to let women know that I have some quirks.
I'm asthmatic.
I eat a lot.
I'm a TNA fan.
That's right, I'm a TNA fan. I know you're asking yourself ' LOL WTF Y U BE A TNA PHAN DAWG?'
Actually, I would think you would use better grammar than that, even in your head.
I know the story about internet wrestling fans and Total Nonstop Action wrestling. You guys don't like it. Their writing sucks, it doesn't make sense, they mis-use talented guys like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Desmond Wolfe, and The Rainbow Express.
We lost them too soon.
For example, on first dates, I make sure to let women know that I have some quirks.
I'm asthmatic.
I eat a lot.
I'm a TNA fan.
That's right, I'm a TNA fan. I know you're asking yourself ' LOL WTF Y U BE A TNA PHAN DAWG?'
Actually, I would think you would use better grammar than that, even in your head.
I know the story about internet wrestling fans and Total Nonstop Action wrestling. You guys don't like it. Their writing sucks, it doesn't make sense, they mis-use talented guys like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Desmond Wolfe, and The Rainbow Express.
We lost them too soon.
I get that. Listen though, I haven't seen one single wrestling company that doesn't mis-use the talent on their roster. For God's sake WWE just fired one of the most talented workers in America.
But why, then, are people so harsh on TNA then? After all, they point to AJ, Joe, Wolfe, etc as examples of guys not getting pushed right, and AJ is the only man ot hold every major title in the company's history, including the Booker T memorial strap. And not to mention that he's a four time world champion, and looks to be the centerpiece of TNA's Four Horsemen.
Oh yeah, rehashing old angles. I can get why people hate that.
And in Samoa Joe's case, I'm more frustrated about his use than anybody. He's my favorite wrestler. He's a badass. He's not a whiner, he's a stiff-working badass. But again, he happens to be a former TNA World champ, he held that belt for a long time, and he beat guys like Sting, Angle, Booker T, etc during his reign.
And Wolfe. OMGZ DEY CHANGED HIS NAMMMEEEE. Shut up about that. You know how many wrestling fans could even spell McGuinness? Anyone remember BRADEN WALKER? How about EVAN BOURNE? DANIEL BRYAN? HUSKY FUCKING HARRIS? You know what? it's not even like Nigel was his real name to begin with. Plus, he's beat Kurt Angle, and laid him out, looking like a million bucks in the process, all within weeks of his debut. But, for the love of god, that's not enough! Why didn't he win the title in his first week?!?
Seriously, shut up about Wolfe. His push may have stalled a little, but seriously, shut up.
Now, what about the old guys? They take up ALL the tv time! Get them off tv!
God, do you people even watch TNA?
Hogan is on TV maybe for 10 minutes a week, if that. His sole purpose so far has been to put Abyss over like rover.
Eric Bischoff? When he actually shows up, he's just involved in the Sting angle, and the Hogan/Abyss feud. Plus, Eric Bischoff is the greatest non-wrestling personality in the history of wrestling.
Kevin Nash? He hasn't been on tv for more than 5 seconds in a month. I'll admit the whole nWo revisit thing was really, really bad for everyone involved, but now that that's over, hopefully he goes back to being a non-wrestler.
Ric Flair? Have you seen him single-handedly put over like half of the young roster? He's given Beer Money, Wolfe, AJ, Kazarian, and Jay Lethal the rub, coming into his match at Victory Road with Lethal where he SHOULD job. I mean, come one, Ric Flair is doing a better job at getting the roster in TNA over than NXT did for anyone.
And then there's Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett. For my money, Mick Foley could do whatever he wants, for as long as he wants, and I would love it. Mick Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time, and every time he even gets near a mic, he makes the entire show better. Jarrett, is another story. Again, he hasn't been on tv much lately, but he is involved in the show. Listen, I think Jarrett is still a draw, and I think it's important to trot him out there because the fans would more than likely revolt without him in TNA. He's been built as the King, he's the guy who started this company, if he left there would be even more backlash against Hogan and Bischoff, and for good reason.
But come on, why do I like TNA? It's simple, really. TNA has something that WWE doesn't have, and hasn't had for a while. Fun.
Sure, it's stupid at times, and yes, it annoys me just as it does you every once in a while.
But TNA does stupid things that I like, like giving away PPV quality matches on free tv.
I swear to god, next guy who bitches about that gets his wrestling fan card revoked.
Also, they try weird new gimmick matches. Some people don't like this, but every once in a while, it's fun to see something different. If they didn't try new gimmick matches we wouldn't have the Ultimate X match, which has become the perfect showcase for the X Division.
Also, I love the X Division.
I love that TNA workers also sometimes work the indies. Signing a TNA contract isn't like signing your life away.
Hell, even the Impact Zone has it's charms. Sometimes. Like the time they chanted 'this is awesome' before Samoa Joe and Angle even started wrestling in their first match. I agreed with them.
What don't I like? Glad you asked!
The Impact Zone. Sure, the fans have their moments, but for the most part, they're dead and borderline retarded. Plus, it looks like a warehouse with 200 seats in it. Plus, they can't even charge admission.
All the WWE castoffs automatically getting TNA spots. You have enough talent already. Stop trying to get the next big star when I'm sure you have a few already on your roster.
Continuity. Seriously, sometimes I have no clue what's going on.
But all in all, I think TNA is a good thing. Everyone reading this no doubt disagrees, but that's fine. After all, my wrestling mind was warped a long time ago.
I did grow up a WCW fan, after all.
But why, then, are people so harsh on TNA then? After all, they point to AJ, Joe, Wolfe, etc as examples of guys not getting pushed right, and AJ is the only man ot hold every major title in the company's history, including the Booker T memorial strap. And not to mention that he's a four time world champion, and looks to be the centerpiece of TNA's Four Horsemen.
Oh yeah, rehashing old angles. I can get why people hate that.
And in Samoa Joe's case, I'm more frustrated about his use than anybody. He's my favorite wrestler. He's a badass. He's not a whiner, he's a stiff-working badass. But again, he happens to be a former TNA World champ, he held that belt for a long time, and he beat guys like Sting, Angle, Booker T, etc during his reign.
And Wolfe. OMGZ DEY CHANGED HIS NAMMMEEEE. Shut up about that. You know how many wrestling fans could even spell McGuinness? Anyone remember BRADEN WALKER? How about EVAN BOURNE? DANIEL BRYAN? HUSKY FUCKING HARRIS? You know what? it's not even like Nigel was his real name to begin with. Plus, he's beat Kurt Angle, and laid him out, looking like a million bucks in the process, all within weeks of his debut. But, for the love of god, that's not enough! Why didn't he win the title in his first week?!?
Seriously, shut up about Wolfe. His push may have stalled a little, but seriously, shut up.
Now, what about the old guys? They take up ALL the tv time! Get them off tv!
God, do you people even watch TNA?
Hogan is on TV maybe for 10 minutes a week, if that. His sole purpose so far has been to put Abyss over like rover.
Eric Bischoff? When he actually shows up, he's just involved in the Sting angle, and the Hogan/Abyss feud. Plus, Eric Bischoff is the greatest non-wrestling personality in the history of wrestling.
Kevin Nash? He hasn't been on tv for more than 5 seconds in a month. I'll admit the whole nWo revisit thing was really, really bad for everyone involved, but now that that's over, hopefully he goes back to being a non-wrestler.
Ric Flair? Have you seen him single-handedly put over like half of the young roster? He's given Beer Money, Wolfe, AJ, Kazarian, and Jay Lethal the rub, coming into his match at Victory Road with Lethal where he SHOULD job. I mean, come one, Ric Flair is doing a better job at getting the roster in TNA over than NXT did for anyone.
And then there's Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett. For my money, Mick Foley could do whatever he wants, for as long as he wants, and I would love it. Mick Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time, and every time he even gets near a mic, he makes the entire show better. Jarrett, is another story. Again, he hasn't been on tv much lately, but he is involved in the show. Listen, I think Jarrett is still a draw, and I think it's important to trot him out there because the fans would more than likely revolt without him in TNA. He's been built as the King, he's the guy who started this company, if he left there would be even more backlash against Hogan and Bischoff, and for good reason.
But come on, why do I like TNA? It's simple, really. TNA has something that WWE doesn't have, and hasn't had for a while. Fun.
Sure, it's stupid at times, and yes, it annoys me just as it does you every once in a while.
But TNA does stupid things that I like, like giving away PPV quality matches on free tv.
I swear to god, next guy who bitches about that gets his wrestling fan card revoked.
Also, they try weird new gimmick matches. Some people don't like this, but every once in a while, it's fun to see something different. If they didn't try new gimmick matches we wouldn't have the Ultimate X match, which has become the perfect showcase for the X Division.
Also, I love the X Division.
I love that TNA workers also sometimes work the indies. Signing a TNA contract isn't like signing your life away.
Hell, even the Impact Zone has it's charms. Sometimes. Like the time they chanted 'this is awesome' before Samoa Joe and Angle even started wrestling in their first match. I agreed with them.
What don't I like? Glad you asked!
The Impact Zone. Sure, the fans have their moments, but for the most part, they're dead and borderline retarded. Plus, it looks like a warehouse with 200 seats in it. Plus, they can't even charge admission.
All the WWE castoffs automatically getting TNA spots. You have enough talent already. Stop trying to get the next big star when I'm sure you have a few already on your roster.
Continuity. Seriously, sometimes I have no clue what's going on.
But all in all, I think TNA is a good thing. Everyone reading this no doubt disagrees, but that's fine. After all, my wrestling mind was warped a long time ago.
I did grow up a WCW fan, after all.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Miz: Your next world champ.
Don't know if you've noticed, but there is one guy pulling a lot more than his share of the weight around the WWE these days.
A guy whose very presence makes shows watchable, makes 'rookies' an instant fan favorite.
Let me guess, is it Jericho?
Nope.
Edge?
Nu-uh.
It's - and hear me out here - it's The Miz.
Yes, you read that right. Read it again. It's The Miz.
But Rob, you may say, The Miz is a terrible worker!
But Rob, The Miz is annoying!
But Rob, The Miz was on the Real World!
But Rob, I hate fauxhawks!
I must now debunk everything you "may say" in order to reveal the truth about The Miz.
1) The Miz is a terrible worker. Yeah right. Look at the WWE roster. I would say The Miz is a better worker than guys that are higher up the card than he is. The Miz can more than hold his own in the ring, and he's done nothing but improve vastly every year since he's been in the WWE.
2) The Miz is annoying. What? You know who's annoying? Smarks who complain about Miz being annoying. Seriously, first of all, he's a heel. If he annyos you, gets under your skin, that's actually a good thing. I don't know why so few people realize this, but heels are supposed to be hated by all. Not just 'marks,' but ALL FANS.
3) The Miz is a reality show star, not a wrestler. So is John Morrison.
4) His hair. What? His hair is awesome.
-ly bad.
Listen, the bottom line here is that The Miz is being pushed harder than I can remember anyone getting pushed in the WWE that was named Sheamus, and he's getting pushed better. He's paying his dues, he's learning the ropes, he's learning how to work with guys with different talent levels, and he even taught John Morrison how to talk (kinda). He carried the tag team division, and te US title scene on his back for months, before finally getting into the Money in the Bank match at WWE's oddly named PPV, "Money in the Bank"
Sure the Miz isn't perfectly polished, but in a world where being pale and friends with Triple H gets you 2+ title reigns, and John Cena is considered the best worker in the company, we can go ahead and risk it.
That's why I'm writing this. I'm not exactly going out on a limb here, but I'm predicting Miz to win the MITB this month, and go on to win the WWE/World Title sometime this year.
Did you read that?
The Miz.
The WWE Champion, The Miz.
That's awesome.
A guy whose very presence makes shows watchable, makes 'rookies' an instant fan favorite.
Let me guess, is it Jericho?
Nope.
Edge?
Nu-uh.
It's - and hear me out here - it's The Miz.
Yes, you read that right. Read it again. It's The Miz.But Rob, you may say, The Miz is a terrible worker!
But Rob, The Miz is annoying!
But Rob, The Miz was on the Real World!
But Rob, I hate fauxhawks!
I must now debunk everything you "may say" in order to reveal the truth about The Miz.
1) The Miz is a terrible worker. Yeah right. Look at the WWE roster. I would say The Miz is a better worker than guys that are higher up the card than he is. The Miz can more than hold his own in the ring, and he's done nothing but improve vastly every year since he's been in the WWE.
2) The Miz is annoying. What? You know who's annoying? Smarks who complain about Miz being annoying. Seriously, first of all, he's a heel. If he annyos you, gets under your skin, that's actually a good thing. I don't know why so few people realize this, but heels are supposed to be hated by all. Not just 'marks,' but ALL FANS.
3) The Miz is a reality show star, not a wrestler. So is John Morrison.
4) His hair. What? His hair is awesome.
-ly bad.
Listen, the bottom line here is that The Miz is being pushed harder than I can remember anyone getting pushed in the WWE that was named Sheamus, and he's getting pushed better. He's paying his dues, he's learning the ropes, he's learning how to work with guys with different talent levels, and he even taught John Morrison how to talk (kinda). He carried the tag team division, and te US title scene on his back for months, before finally getting into the Money in the Bank match at WWE's oddly named PPV, "Money in the Bank"
Sure the Miz isn't perfectly polished, but in a world where being pale and friends with Triple H gets you 2+ title reigns, and John Cena is considered the best worker in the company, we can go ahead and risk it.
That's why I'm writing this. I'm not exactly going out on a limb here, but I'm predicting Miz to win the MITB this month, and go on to win the WWE/World Title sometime this year.
Did you read that?
The Miz.
The WWE Champion, The Miz.
That's awesome.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I was wrong...
Who knows anymore?
If there is anything I've learned about wrestling these past few weeks or so, it's that I know very little about the artform I claim to be obsessed with. I once fashioned myself a wrestling expert, and now find myself refashioning myself as a freshman in everything I've been missing for years.
If there is anything I've learned about wrestling these past few weeks or so, it's that I know very little about the artform I claim to be obsessed with. I once fashioned myself a wrestling expert, and now find myself refashioning myself as a freshman in everything I've been missing for years.
Think about it, about a month ago, I was convinced that WWE had completely outdone itself for the first time in years. They finally had an angle people were talking about, an angle that kept everyone on the edge of their seats, an angle that was going to revitalize the business. Then the rollercoaster began...
After that, of course, being the wrestling genius that I am, I was positive that Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan) being reportedly released from his WWE contract was a "work." (LOOK I EVEN USE SMARKY WORDS HAHA) Well,I'm presently 97% positive that it wasn't actually a work. (and if it is, I'm deleting this post) I was so sure of myself. After all, why in the name of Moses would the WWE take the chance of ruining the only angle they have done in years that made any type of splash, just because a pasty white guy got choked with a tie? It all seemed (and still does to some extent) a little too ridiculous to be real.
Which brings me back to the WWE. What I thought was a big step forward in reclaiming the hearts and minds of wrestling fans everywhere, was actually a glaring representation of everything that has changed them since the Attitude Era. No longer will you see Vince McMahon standing up against the Parent's Television Council, blatantly running a TV show that went against everything they wanted to censor from the American television lexicon.
I thought they would be taking a step in the RIGHT direction. In my opinion, that would involve getting a little more edgy, a little more unpredictable, a little less formulaic and bland, and, for lack of a better word, terrible and boring.
But no. That would be too much like a good decision. Instead, let's fire the guy we've been pushing for months because Linda McMahon doesn't want something for her Senate opponents to point to. How about they point to the fact that her husband's been accused of peddling steroids for years, she's personally been involved on-screen in angles that involve violence against women, spousal and family member fighting, and extreme violence.
Linda McMahon is the cancer that's killing /wwe/
But all that's besides the point. The point was, we all got swerved big time. Including me. WWE gave us gold. They gave us a giant chunk of gold wrapped in delicious bacon, and then they took it away. Now, I know the NXT angle is still ongoing, but come on, has it really taken the same bite that everyone thought/hoped it would? I mean, this one angle has lead to Bret Hart getting slammed around in a limo. (WTF HOW WAS THAT PG?) And MOAR MICHAEL COLE AIRTIME. Also, with the recent news that Wade Barrett can't work in the US anymore, or whatever an expired work visa means, this NXT angle looks to be going down faster than a Twilight fan on Robert Pattinson.
And all for what? Somebody answer that, because lord knows I have no earthly clue. What have they proven? What battle have they won? Was this a move designed to 'stick it' to the internet fans? If so, I have a hard time wanting to watch the product of a company that willingly screws with, and attempts to piss off, it's fans.
And will Danielson be back? I don't know. I wouldn't go back if I were him. Why would he? He could go to TNA, make the same/more money, and still take some indy bookings on the side, and besides, TNA might actually use him. I know internet fans hate TNA (and love ROH) but TNA has made stars out of many old ROH guys, like AJ, Joe, Desmond Wolfe, etc. Plus, the talent on their roster is far superior across the board inside the ropes.
But I doubt that would happen. After all, Danielson did make a jab at TNA during his weekend tour of the midwest with CHIKARA. Something to the effect of making fun of them for changing Nigel McGuinness' name.
Is that so, Daniel Bryan?
Anyway, He could be back, and if he is, he will make the WWE a lot of money, and internet fans will flock back to the 'E with open arms.
I don't know if I will.
Sure, I'm not boycotting WWE. I hardly watch their shows anyway. I'll watch Raw every two or three weeks and catch about a Smackdown every two months just like I did before. But my loyalty to the WWE has been shaken for the time being. I've always been something of a TNA mark, and I'll remain that, and maybe I'll focus my other wrestling time on some of my new found loves...
CHIKARA is so awesome. I would just like to add that.
That's another thing I thought I knew. CHIKARA, after all, is just indy wrestling with a lot of comedy and somewhat decent wrestling.
Haha, I'm an idiot.
No, CHIKARA is actually the best live show I've ever been to. I enjoyed every single moment of "We Must Eat Michigan's Brain." From the opening CLASH Wrestling showcase match, to the return of Bryan Danielson to the independents in a bone rattling fight with Eddie Kingston, to the crazy 4-on-4 match that closed the show, to the autograph signing and general hanging out after the show. CHIKARA knows how to treat their fans to a great time. I walked in a casual CHIKARA fan who was looking for something to do on a Saturday, and left a CHIKARA lunatic foaming at the mouth for their next Michigan show. (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)
Speaking of CLASH Wrestling, I fully intend to be present for their upcoming NPCI Tag Team Tournament that's coming up next month.
So what I've learned from these last few weeks? I've learned nothing. NOTHING. I know no secrets that I never knew before, all I know is that...
...pretty much...
...everything I knew was wrong.
After that, of course, being the wrestling genius that I am, I was positive that Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan) being reportedly released from his WWE contract was a "work." (LOOK I EVEN USE SMARKY WORDS HAHA) Well,I'm presently 97% positive that it wasn't actually a work. (and if it is, I'm deleting this post) I was so sure of myself. After all, why in the name of Moses would the WWE take the chance of ruining the only angle they have done in years that made any type of splash, just because a pasty white guy got choked with a tie? It all seemed (and still does to some extent) a little too ridiculous to be real.
Which brings me back to the WWE. What I thought was a big step forward in reclaiming the hearts and minds of wrestling fans everywhere, was actually a glaring representation of everything that has changed them since the Attitude Era. No longer will you see Vince McMahon standing up against the Parent's Television Council, blatantly running a TV show that went against everything they wanted to censor from the American television lexicon.
I thought they would be taking a step in the RIGHT direction. In my opinion, that would involve getting a little more edgy, a little more unpredictable, a little less formulaic and bland, and, for lack of a better word, terrible and boring.
But no. That would be too much like a good decision. Instead, let's fire the guy we've been pushing for months because Linda McMahon doesn't want something for her Senate opponents to point to. How about they point to the fact that her husband's been accused of peddling steroids for years, she's personally been involved on-screen in angles that involve violence against women, spousal and family member fighting, and extreme violence.
Linda McMahon is the cancer that's killing /wwe/
But all that's besides the point. The point was, we all got swerved big time. Including me. WWE gave us gold. They gave us a giant chunk of gold wrapped in delicious bacon, and then they took it away. Now, I know the NXT angle is still ongoing, but come on, has it really taken the same bite that everyone thought/hoped it would? I mean, this one angle has lead to Bret Hart getting slammed around in a limo. (WTF HOW WAS THAT PG?) And MOAR MICHAEL COLE AIRTIME. Also, with the recent news that Wade Barrett can't work in the US anymore, or whatever an expired work visa means, this NXT angle looks to be going down faster than a Twilight fan on Robert Pattinson.
And all for what? Somebody answer that, because lord knows I have no earthly clue. What have they proven? What battle have they won? Was this a move designed to 'stick it' to the internet fans? If so, I have a hard time wanting to watch the product of a company that willingly screws with, and attempts to piss off, it's fans.
And will Danielson be back? I don't know. I wouldn't go back if I were him. Why would he? He could go to TNA, make the same/more money, and still take some indy bookings on the side, and besides, TNA might actually use him. I know internet fans hate TNA (and love ROH) but TNA has made stars out of many old ROH guys, like AJ, Joe, Desmond Wolfe, etc. Plus, the talent on their roster is far superior across the board inside the ropes.
But I doubt that would happen. After all, Danielson did make a jab at TNA during his weekend tour of the midwest with CHIKARA. Something to the effect of making fun of them for changing Nigel McGuinness' name.
Is that so, Daniel Bryan?
Anyway, He could be back, and if he is, he will make the WWE a lot of money, and internet fans will flock back to the 'E with open arms.
I don't know if I will.
Sure, I'm not boycotting WWE. I hardly watch their shows anyway. I'll watch Raw every two or three weeks and catch about a Smackdown every two months just like I did before. But my loyalty to the WWE has been shaken for the time being. I've always been something of a TNA mark, and I'll remain that, and maybe I'll focus my other wrestling time on some of my new found loves...
CHIKARA is so awesome. I would just like to add that.
That's another thing I thought I knew. CHIKARA, after all, is just indy wrestling with a lot of comedy and somewhat decent wrestling.
Haha, I'm an idiot.
No, CHIKARA is actually the best live show I've ever been to. I enjoyed every single moment of "We Must Eat Michigan's Brain." From the opening CLASH Wrestling showcase match, to the return of Bryan Danielson to the independents in a bone rattling fight with Eddie Kingston, to the crazy 4-on-4 match that closed the show, to the autograph signing and general hanging out after the show. CHIKARA knows how to treat their fans to a great time. I walked in a casual CHIKARA fan who was looking for something to do on a Saturday, and left a CHIKARA lunatic foaming at the mouth for their next Michigan show. (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)
Speaking of CLASH Wrestling, I fully intend to be present for their upcoming NPCI Tag Team Tournament that's coming up next month.
So what I've learned from these last few weeks? I've learned nothing. NOTHING. I know no secrets that I never knew before, all I know is that...
...pretty much...
...everything I knew was wrong.
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